Pressing ham

Masturbating, to jerk off

Nick tried to bust in on Joel pressing ham.

by Sergeant Doncho June 20, 2019

West Ham

Icelandic football club based in London's notoriously Scandinavian East End ghettos. As of January 2007 in deep relegation trouble in the Premiership. Many Chelsea, Tottenham and Millwall fans will be delighted to see them relegated. Called 'Academy of Football', which is a pretentious moniker given to them by the media, due to their perceived production of young English talent (Lampard, Carrick, J Cole, Defoe, Ferdinand, etc).

chim-chimeny, chim-chimeny, chim-chim cheroo, we hate those bastards in claret and blue.

'are you west ham in disguise?' sung by tottenham fans to really bad teams

by PRIDE_OF_NORTH_LONDON January 14, 2007

Ham Crown

Where you attempt to wear a vagina as a crown.

"Yo dawg I heard you tried to stick your head in your missus"

"Yeah man, I was totally wearing that Ham Crown."

by The Ham King January 18, 2010

plant ham

the act of dropping trou while in a vehicle and smashing your buttocks against the glass, creating a visual image not unlike that of 2 ham steaks side by side

I told my friend not to plant ham in my car and now I have two butt smears on my window.

by The Mad Flasher January 18, 2011

Ham Towned

Being Hammered, Drunk, Belligerently Intoxicated, Blacking Out, or whatever other slang for being drunk is.

Oh my god Jim, its a sunday?! Why are you drinking?!
Yeah, so what? I dont have a final tomorrow!
Dude you are so ham towned...

by DKnDuBois' May 16, 2011

Country Ham

The term used to describe the general appearance of the marble hammock when the skin is stretched, bunched together, and shoved through a crack in a door.

'Chris totally served up some country ham when I knocked on the bathroom door.'

OR:

'What is that hanging off the doorknob?'

'Oh thats just Chris's country ham. He's letting it air dry. You know....he does that.'

by Humperdink Rhino October 13, 2008

Ham Sill

A drunk sand hill. He is nearly incomprehensible, but is an expert craftsmen. Remains super athletic, but can hardly walk. He is not afraid to to pleasure his woman in public, and isn't intimidated by the sphincter region.

Person 1: Did you see Ham Sill last night? I couldn't understand a word he said and he almost fell over after every step, yet he somehow managed to jump over that table.

Person 2: Yeah, no kidding. And he was trying to finger his girlfriend on the couch in the lobby.

by Sphinxtor May 20, 2014