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Canada's History

When you hire Wayne Gretzky to dunk his penis in a jar of maple syrup and slap you in the face with it.
I couldn't make it to baseball practice yesterday because a session of Canada's History ran a bit late.
by nozavroni February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

This is the most offensive sexual act that has ever been performed in the history of Canada. It involves moose antlers, a gallon of maple syrup, 14.5 people. This makes the "Aristocrats" seem like soft core porn!
Canadian #1 : "Did you hear that the magazine 'The Beaver' is changing its name to 'Canada's History' because of the porn filters on search engines?"

Canadian #2 : "Oh no! Don't they know that 'Canada's History' is a lot worse than 'The Beaver'!!! What have they done!
by SColbert February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

While having sex during a hockey match, it's the use of the maple syrup to shove a Stanley Cup like object up a woman's anus, while simultaneously being penetrated in the vagina with a penis which is covered in maple syrup. As soon as the male feels he needs to release he pulls out and cums on top of the Stanley Cup and yells Hat Trick!
Stephen: Hey baby, you wanna go pull off Canada's History?
Stephanie: As long as you can score me a Hat Trick.
Stephen: Don't worry, I can.
by pickemgenius February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

A depraved American sexual act involving moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.

It's so depraved that it can't be described, even on urban dictionary, as those who may be offended have access to it.
"Dude... that chick has no respect for herself- she totally performed Canada's History with me!"

"Woah... You let her? Dude... you have no respect for YOURSELF!!"
by thischickoverhere February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

The act of giving oral sex to a moose while simultaneously having the exact number of gallons that can be filled into the Stanley Cup injected into the anal cavity with its left antler. The right antler is simply impossible within the current laws of physics.
My god. I just found out the definition of Canada's History. That is... wonderful.
by ForsFagerstrom February 25, 2010
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Canada's History

An incredibly long, drawn-out sexual act involving a man, a woman, their daughter and son, Grandma (it helps if she's from Quebec), the family collie, moose antlers, maple syrup and a piece of hockey equipment from a former Shawinigan Junior-B player named Red Stanley (aka "Stanley's Cup", sometimes misinterpreted as the trophy from a professional hockey league).

While the act itself is far to complex to explain without the use of diagrams, specially modified crash-test dummies and a pie-chart, it can sometimes be seen performed live on stage at an underground nightclub in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan by a local theatre troupe known as "The Aristocrats".
"Last night's performance of Canada's History was so intense that Grandma's glass-eye wouldn't come back out."
by grapevine1015 February 5, 2010
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Canada's History

The most jaw-dropping sex act imaginable. It involves putting everything in there.
Stephen Colbert is very experienced at Canada's History.
by Colbertaphile February 4, 2010
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