Bagel bandit

Someone( not Jewish) who attended Jewish services at Fort Benning/Moore during basic training just to get free bagels and cream cheese.

The bagel bandits are back from the service.

by SirSesquatch June 03, 2023

Dick bagel

A sexual device used by a gentleman endowed with an absolute unit as to prevent the actual destruction of his partner's innards, gizzards, etc. when plumbing the depths of their trenches. Not to be confused with a dick donut, the dick bagel is preferred due to its robust structure and stout crumb.

Prior to entering her yearning channel, he donned his dick bagel.

by WeirdBarbie May 15, 2024

Blumpkin bagel

Both seasonal and festive, getting a blow job while taking shit while eating a pumpkin bagel.

It was fall and I was feeling festive and frisky but had to shit so naturally I asked my girl for a blumpkin bagel.

by Muffins. August 24, 2022

Bagel in the ass

Whenever you get pulled over and given a ticket.

Person 1: Aw man, I just got given a ticket for goin' 126 miles per hour in a school zone.
Person 2: Oof, that police officer just put a bagel in the ass.

by BigDog823 November 03, 2019

Icecream Bagel

The most retarded person you've ever met, he is also a massive queer. Actual faggot, my guy

icecream bagel, i'm not e-dating you

by LilDingaling March 13, 2024

bronze bagel

Someone with blond hair and an annoying complexion. Usually the product of an inbred family from Florida, Alabama, or the likes.

“Yo, that band kid with the blond hair and the microcephaly is such a bronze bagel.”

by Big Guy LC June 07, 2023

Ripe Bagel

Also known as the opposite of a “stale bagel”, a ripe bagel is the freshly made baked dough with a hole in the middle commonly known as a bagel.

Person 1- Hey can I get a bagel? Person 2- yea sure we sell only the best ripe bagels!

by stalebagel February 14, 2021