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south paw monkey spanker

One who uses his left hand to jack, whack, choke the chicken, spank the monkey, attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior or in other words, MASTURBATE!

A lefty, per say

May be a person that writes, hits, or even smokes with his right hand but gallops the old lizzard with his left hand.

Also referred to as an S.P.M.P.
Kristine: So I used my teloscope last night and looked into Ray's window. Did you know that he is a South Paw Monkey Spanker?

Derek: So I applied for this new job at the Home Depot, and my boss wanted to know if I was an S.P.M.P. and I'm all wtf? On occasion, though, I do, do the five kunckle shuffle with 'ol Lefty!

Janet: Hey Bobby?
Bobby: Yes Janet?
Janet: Do you participate in genital stimulation via phallengetic motion with your left hand?
Bobby: Why yes, I am an S.P.M.P.!
by Emas Diez May 9, 2006
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pepper monkey

A person who uses excessive amounts of pepper (black or white) on the food they prepare.

Term first used on Top Chef Season 1 to described an over peppered dish.
The cook is a serious pepper monkey.
by wingsabre March 16, 2007
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Monkey Fish Frog

is a species on the evolutionary chain as the result of a retarded squirl having butt sex with a Retard Frog Squirl.
My ex mother in law look alot like a Monkey Fish Frog.
by sober_noob August 24, 2009
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cougar monkey

somthing funny to say to a guy that is smoking pot
-smokes- friend says "hello Cougar Monkey "
everybody "hahahahaha"
by steven Darity February 1, 2008
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monkey blood

Raspberry syrup, typically applied to a 99 ice cream cone by a Mr Whippy in a northern industrial town.
"Can I have a flake in that please? And plenty of monkey blood."
by northnog February 8, 2012
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Monkey up

Mess something up. Probably influenced by similar phrases like "monkey around with," "monkey business," and "throw a monkey wrench into." Possibly used as a euphemism for "muck up" by people who consider that already-euphemistic phrase too similar to "fuck up."

The phrase does not have any racial implications, though some have called it a "racist dog-whistle" referring to black people. The dog-whistle metaphor is apt because only a racist who secretly equates monkeys with black people would hear this phrase as having a racial dimension.
"The more you try to do certain things, the more you monkey it up." (Henry Homeyer, "Notes from the Garden," 2003)

"All I did was monkey it up." (filmmaker Kevin Smith, "My Boring-Ass Life," 2007)

"The last thing we need to do is monkey this up by trying to embrace a socialist agenda with huge tax increases and bankrupting the state." (Congressman Ron DeSantis, 2018)

A: "I've never heard the phrase 'monkey something up'."
B: "That's funny because it has more than 400,000 Google hits, even excluding the quote from Ron DeSantis."
A: "You're right. My Internet research shows it's disproportionately used on repair-related forums, like 'I'm betting the alignment shop monkeyed it up' and 'You monkeyed it up with the vise jaws.' This supports the association with 'monkey wrench' and further discredits the claim that 'monkey up' is a racial slur."
by EmilyW August 30, 2018
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alopecian appalacian ridgeback monkey

A new rare breed of monkey that is born with hair and completely loses it by adulthood. This new species is found in the hollers of Tennessee. Also this monkey is known for its insatiable sexual appetite
The alopecian appalacian ridgeback monkey got extremely wet during the storm because it had not hair with which to keep itself dry.
by MichelleF1973 June 20, 2005
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