Panic Wank

A game played by terribly bored teenagers. The typical scenario involves being alone in one's room, erection in hand. The participant then shouts in order to call the attention of someone they would rather not be masturbating infront of: the most common example being the mother. The player then attempts to bring himself to climax and clean up before the mother, or other, enters the room to see what they were wanted for.

A rainy day in middle class English suburbia. One nervous sixteen year old male clutches his erect penis in one hand, Kleenex in the other. He clears his throat, ensuring his voice does not falter.

"MUM!!"

The game of panic wank begins.

by Panic Wanker October 1, 2009

Wank and Dank

Jerking off and smoking high quality weed

Tyrone:What have you been doing lately?
John:I’ve just been doing the wank and dank

by Slasher1508. January 14, 2021

wank shank

When you shank someone with your wank or they shank you with your wank. Or the other person grabs a sharp object and shanks you in the wank or you do that with an object to the other person.

Stop being such a Wank Shank!

Stop Wank Shanking me!

by Doun Sin Drum Jey March 11, 2017

Force Wanking

Using the 'Force' to elicit free goods fom a person or persons/business or otherwise. The duplicit nature will often invoke an orgasm of the mind.

Bernard just got that squid for free! Colin Kemp: Its not a squid its powdered, but yeah it was free i force-wanked him.
How the bollocks did you do that? Force Wanking Doh!!...

by councilor colin kemp January 19, 2012

Wank Bladder

The Tiny bladder that contains sperm. Alledged to only hold enough for around 7 wanks.

7 also being the mystical number of wanks before you hit the "wank barrier"

"I got up to seven wanks tonight but I just couldn't cum no more!...Think I emptied the wank bladder!"

Or:
"I tried to get past seven wanks but hit the wank barrier"

by combatstig March 15, 2009

Auction Wank

The act of masturbation in which the climax, being an orgasm or ejaculation, is perfectly in sync with some sort of auction (eBay etc).

Created at around the very beginning of eBay, in London, when auctions became affiliated with computer systems. The year of 1995.

'Hey guys, last night I had the best Auction Wank! I came just as I won my new wardrobe!'

by monkeywithamelon March 17, 2013

Wank-Stains

Stains of busted nuts from multiple wank sessions. Typically in the form of dried up nut. The kind your mom finds in the carpet, on bed sheets, in a gak towel or in a tube sock.

Mom: What is all this flakey, crusty stuff in your sock? This thing could stand on its own.

Son: It’s just my wank-stains. Don’t wash it. I like the rough feel.

Mom: You sound like your father.

by Eaton Holgoode January 5, 2018