The Manlet

The Manlet is a hilariously brilliant trollsome poem penned by the phenomenally formidable 6-foot tall English mathematician, logician, photographer and novelist, the invigoratingly illustrious Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, better known by his notable nom de plume Lewis Carroll. True to the nature of the mental giant and valiant visionary that Lewis Carroll unquestionably was, The Manlet much later kickstarted and inspired the heavily manletism-focused online height enthusiast movement, that still remains universally beloved and enthusiastically active, by for example periodically manifesting itself via the perhaps less elegant but certainly equally eloquent manlet death threads that providentially pervade the internet to this very day. Before tragically dying of pneumonia in 1898 at the age of 65, Lewis Carroll invented a word puzzle game that he called the doublet, no doubt as a final nod to all of the magnificent manmores out there who would inevitably in the future aspire to follow in his colossal footsteps.
Manmore 1: ... and that's how the minuscule manlet boy ended up in the vacuum cleaner bag. By the way, what's your favorite song? Manmore 2: The musical masterpiece Short People by the godlike Randy Newman of course! What's your favorite poem, brah? Manmore 1: The Manlet by the preeminent Lewis Carroll, without a doubt! Manmore 2: Short people got no reason. Manmore 1: Dwarfishly-statured manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 08, 2024
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Manlets rise up!

An allusion to the microscopic, absurd and ill-fated folkloric fiasco known as the manlet uprising. At the same time a highly sarcastic taunt, cleverly playing on the hilarious fact that manlets, due to being afflicted with the devastating and lifelong curse of manletism, are unable to grow up and are therefore doomed to endure the comical and dwarf-like existence of a laughably stunted, utterly insignificant and Napoleon complex-afflicted prison wife manlet. Often used in conjunction with Manlets BTFO or Manlets, when will they learn? - particularly when witnessing another amusingly traumatizing humiliation deservedly suffered by a terminally insecure, inherently effeminate and preposterously petite runt of an Ewok sissy manlet boy.
Did you know that the average height of CEO's for fortune 500 companies is 6 foot and that manmores out-earn manlets by hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of their respective careers? Lol, that's awesome! Manlet rage guaranteed. Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator August 25, 2024
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malaria manlet

The malaria manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10) is a diminutive and diseased, microscopically minuscule little midget monstrosity who has contracted malaria because of the stuntedly swamplike living conditions that he endures due to amusingly having little baby legs and therefore standing so low that one would have to pick him up just to say hello. If the petite and puny malaria manlet surprisingly survives the gaping wound left by the infectious bite of a to him dragonlike mosquito, then he will subsequently begin to suffer from explosive diarrhea, hobbit feet, Napoleon complex psychosis and of course uncontrollable bouts of manlet rage before finally metamorphosing into a murloc manlet and wearily waddling away to effeminately frolic around in a nearby puddle like the girlishly fairylike runt of a sexy sissy manlet princess that his mouselike manletism has hilariously forever doomed him to be. Malaria manlets BTFO.
Maria: Did you hear that Tiny Tom called in sick today again? Manmore: Good, I never liked that subhumanly stunted little malaria manlet anyway! Maria: Me neither. Manlets are just gross! Manmore: Short people got no reason. Maria: Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator October 10, 2024
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Bagel Boss Manlet

Representing the pint-sized personification of manlet rage and standing shockingly small at 5 foot nothing, Chris "Bagel Boss" Morgan rose to short-lived infamy when he threw a hissy fit extraordinaire at a Long Island Bagel Boss in 2019. After falsely claiming that the friendly female cashier had smirked at his comically dwarfed height, Chris "Sissy Manlet" Morgan was recorded by amused onlookers as he was instantly overwhelmed by manlet rage and went on a childish tirade, furiously ranting about how women (understandably) hate him due to his sensationally stunted stature and egregiously evident Napoleon complex. Subsequently to being asked by a much taller customer to calm down and grow up, the rageaholic turbo-manlet petulantly proclaimed: "Shut your mouth! You're not God, or my father, or my boss!" - only to then transform into a tiny, little hamster when a heroic manmore made short work of the midget monstrosity and tackled him. Helpful height enthusiasts later found his now defunct YouTube channel featuring many similar videos which triggered an escalating series of well-deserved trolling sagas, eventually culminating in the Bagel Boss Manlet being cut down to size (more so than he naturally was) and thereby stopped short of realizing his delusional dream of following in the microscopic footsteps of ill-famed celebrity turbo-manlets such as Tiny Tom Cruise and Kevin "Homunculus" Hart by becoming just another high heels wearing comic relief Hollywood Oompa Loompa manlet.
Materialistic manlet: WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HIGH HEELS?! Manmore: Cease your manletspeak and don't go Bagel Boss Manlet on me. Here, bounce around on this stress ball and dry your tiny tears with this tampon, you silly, little manlet boy.
by ManletDepreciator September 18, 2024
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murderous manlet

The murderous manlet is an outrageously overcompensating, grotesquely gnomish and severely stunted sexy sissy manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10) who has childishly channeled his short man's syndrome-induced manlet rage into the pursuit and furtherance of criminal endeavors, which he is forced to conduct by the cowardly use of dwarfish manipulation tactics as he is obviously far too short to ever be looked up to as real man and a leader. The 5ft2 turbo-manlet Charles Milles Maddox "Manlet Boy" Manson, a misanthropic manlet and myopic manlet par excellence, learned the consequences of this lowly behavior the hard way when he was brutally bullied and turned into a prison wife manlet by the manmores of the Aryan Brotherhood prison gang while incarcerated in the early 1970's after brainwashing his feeble-minded cult followers into committing an escalating series of violent crimes in California in the late 1960's and early 1970's, culminating in the horrific Tate murders on the night of August 8, 1969. Remember kids, say no to drugs, never trust a manlet and height is a choice!
Bagel Boss Manlet: Shut your mouth! You're not God, or my father, or my boss! Towering manmore: Lol, don't go all murderous manlet on me, you silly, little midget boy! What's wrong? Did your mommy drop your pacifier? Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator September 26, 2024
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meddling manlet

A quarrelsome and small-minded manlet who is prone to ineffectively inserting himself into grown-up issues and conversations in a futile attempt at feeling like a big boy for once in his dwarfish life and despite the fact that grown-up subject matter goes right over his pea-brained, little head. 1978, Maryland State Delegate and absolute manlet Isaiah Dixon who hilariously tried to legislatively ban the playing of Randy Newman's musical masterpiece Short People on the radio is a good example of this phenomenon, as well as disgraced video game producer and miserable manlet boy Tiny Todd Howard who, because of his effeminate petiteness and overpowering Napoleon complex, has childishly ruined many video games with his transparent and preposterous tall tales.
Lol, why is that squealing manlet stuck headfirst in that trashcan over there? The meddling manlet tried to stop a group of children from riding that roller coaster because he was denied entrance due to his girlish height, so the kids threw him in the trash where he belongs. The trashcan must be like an aircraft hangar to that microscopic manlet boy. Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 14, 2024
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barnyard manlet

The barnyard manlet, also known as the cabbage patch manlet, is a microscopically minuscule misanthropic manlet who has been so completely and utterly driven to madness by the devastatingly deadly disability of manletism (the catastrophically crippling curse of excruciatingly and eternally existing as a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10), that he now indulges in a countryside lifestyle by frolicking around like the tiny fairy that he is in barnyards while wearing flowery and frilly summer dresses and high heels. Quickly adapting to his new environment, akin to the stunted sub-aquatic murloc manlet, the bitterly boyish barnyard manlet is always eager to please his superlatively superior, supremely magnificent manmore farmer overlord by enthusiastically serving as a chew toy for the towering farmer's guard dogs, as a garden gnome (naturally), a doorstop, a leg rest, a spittoon and as a Stalinesquely stunted hobbit scarecrow after rightfully receiving a hanging wedgie from a laughing pig named Napoleon and then sobbingly dangling for hours on end suspended by his pink panties from a toothpick embedded in a field in the middle of nowhere. Manlet Animal Farm. In his spare time the barnyard manlet enjoys mud wrestling chickens (before having his way with them) and chugging down copious amounts of Hobbit Ale (made from fermented rabbit poop and petty-dwarf roots) mixed with horse semen (in the desperate hope of finally triggering a growth spurt), as is the dwarven tradition.
Barnyard manlet: Hey there sweet cheeks, do you wanna buy some of my Hobbit Ale? Samantha: Absolutely not! Now cease your tall tales manletspeak, choke on your enema juice, posture check yourself, pick up your high heels and then go cry in the nearest manlet pit, you grotesquely gnomish, petite and puny, ridiculous runt of an effeminate Ewok mama's boy midget monstrosity! Manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 02, 2024
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