Tillamook County Lie Detector Test

A practice used by cruel, corrupt, and heavy-handed police officers to force a confession. From the song "Tillamook County Jail" by Todd Snider: "I've got a lump on my head and boot print on my chest/from what the guys in here call the Tillamook County Lie Detector Test/Well I did my best/but it's a tough test not to fail"

Tillamook County is in Oregon, of course.

1st Heavy-handed pig with huge, hairy, pussy-tickler mustache. "Found this hippy hitch-hiking on I-5."

2nd Heavy-handed pig, "Well, administer the Tillamook County Lie Detector Test, and we'll have him confess to vagrancy, illegal trespassing, resisting arrest, and armed robbery. And we'll check the files for any unsolved crimes we can have him confess to."

by Alfred E. Pnuemyn January 22, 2011

Rubbermaid™ brand lie-detector

That huge gray plastic barrel at the curbside in which you mindlessly threw out the nice gift that the child down the street worked so hard to create for you. Said innocently-trusting youngster then happens upon said container before the trash-man has carted it away, of course his tenderly-impressionable eyeballs observe said callously-discarded gift, which of course painfully marks him for life and shows him what a shameless lying a**h**e you actually are to have praisingly told him how much you appreciated his gift and all the work he'd gone through to create it for you.

Here's how to avoid having your Rubbermaid™ brand lie-detector make mincemeat of your stellar reputation with the neighborhood children. First, be sure to prominently-display anything they give you --- such as paper-artwork or a clay sculpture --- inside the front room of your house for at least two or three weeks, so that if the young creators of said "masterpieces" happen over to visit, they will always have their happy pride of your appreciation re-affirmed by seeing their "treasured gifts" still visible for all to see. Then after maybe a month or so, try moving the exhibits further along down the wall or into another room, so that if a child happens to notice the absence of his creation in its "customary" spot, you can just hastily show him that you have merely moved it, but that you do indeed still have it on display. Then, if the youngster doesn't comment any more on the object's absence during subsequent visits or go to the other spot to look at it, you can safely assume that he has lost interest in said object, and so you can then put it away in a desk drawer or someplace else hidden, but where you can still hastily retrieve it again if necessary. Then if there is still no reference to said object within a couple more weeks, THEN AND ONLY THEN can you probably safely discard the item, BUT ONLY IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT RISK THE CHILD'S SEEING IT... don't just toss it "openly" into a trash can where it can easily be seen by anyone just moseying by!

by QuacksO November 25, 2018

EMF Detector

EMF(Epicly Major Fail) Detector: A warning device which detects Epicly Major Fails of magnitude 2 or greater. Can normally detect EMF's minutes to hours before the initial hit of the EMF. Used mainly to alert the surrounding area of an impending EMF so they may all witness it.

*SIREN*

Person 1: "Ohh dude that's the EMF Detector!".

Person 2: "Well lets go see who screwed the pooch this time, then we can laugh and ridicule them all day!"

Person 1: "Yeah lets go!"

by TehTub January 4, 2010

poopooniggafartsyndrome detector

A tool used to detect SUS

lets use the poopooniggafartsyndrome detector on kenny cause hes being SUS

by Greenpoop24361 September 21, 2020

Good person detector

Did anyone catch the michelin jew's reference to me? Anyone? Because I said I had a charlatan detector... Get it? He read the thing. This. He read this.... I don't think he's a fan.... ☹️

Hym "Hahahahahahaha Good person detector!? Get it? Because he knows he's a charlatan and feels bad (kind of) so to console him, the michelin jew says that. You know who I'm talking about, right? Put a yamacha on the stay-puff marshmallow. Can you picture it? Do you see? You get it?"

by Hym Iam January 29, 2023

weed detector

A cop.

I was a police officer a few years back and a guy came up and asked me if I was a weed detector.

by Dylpickle535 June 18, 2018

Zest Detector

A person’s acute ability to tell if someone is gay. Similar to Gaydar.

My Zest Detector went off when I saw his flamboyant outfit.

by Doug Cheetham March 18, 2025