calories

Small goblins that hide in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.

She went on a diet because she had too many calories

by I am a heccin egg May 13, 2020

Calories

Invisible food math

You: “Dude what are calories?”
Me (an educated guy): “Basically, it’s invisible food math.”

by Jjoshyy69420 March 12, 2023

Calories

Tiny organisms that live in most people's closets and sew their cloths tighter every night

I have too many calories in my closet.

How come calories don't creep into your closet?

by Mrs. Teacher April 29, 2021

Empty Calories

A quarterback who puts up a lot of seemingly impressive stats, but rarely wins games, rendering his stats useless in the grand scheme of things.

Also applicable for stats put up when the team is down or up by a lot. AKA, not when a game is being determined.

Jay: I am so pumped for my team's new QB, we are going to air it out all season long.

Joel: Hmm, I don't know. All I see is a bunch of empty calories, he may be useless when it counts.

Jay: Ugh, he never wins big games, you are so right.

by Mike109999 March 21, 2022

hippie calorie

One hippie calorie is equivalent to 1mg of THC.

That gummy I ate had 20 hippie calories.

by Gonads77 February 22, 2025

Calorie Cashing

when you’re broke and hungry so you compare the amount of calories in different foods to see which is the best offer.

“I’m so poor I’ve been calorie cashing all week”

by Anne Spank February 05, 2019

calorie

a pointless unit of measurement to dwell over my lovelies

them: "omg that's so high calorie! ive eaten enough anyway"
me: "that's true, but calories don't matter, so please allow yourself to enjoy the food if and when you want it"

by giantphallussedlady May 08, 2022