Wedding Reader

Complete zero who couldn’t make the wedding party cut; pitiful but liiterate attention seeker unable to cope with the anonymity associated with attending a celebration not focused on them.

The wedding reader is photobombing again! Tazer armed!

by TheMissingClown May 11, 2018

Weddin

A half-assed wedding. Whereas "wedding = proper ceremony + proper reception", a weddin will not have one or both of these. Also called "a family reunion".

Weddins are often trying to seem like chic, cost-effective weddings, but end up looking like the couple are cheap as hell and don't really give a shit about their wedding or their guests.

Examples:
Saying vows and signing the marriage license without an officiant

Getting a food truck instead of catering

Having your guests play frisbee and board games instead of dancing

Having your ceremony and reception in a Walmart parking lot

"Are you going to his weddin? I hear that he got a food truck, borrowed an old boom box and 3 CDs, and that the bride is wearing cutoffs."

by spinnerclotho June 11, 2018

Seattle wedding

Attempting to carry on having sex in the shower after the hot water has run out.

Man, I need a bigger water heater. I can't live through one more Seattle wedding.

by Captain Swarthy September 16, 2017

wedding ring

n. A magical artifact that provides the wearer protection from receiving oral sex.

It's not just a wedding ring, it's a +5 Ring of Protection against oral sex.

by SkidMarkyMark May 28, 2006

barbarian wedding

A sexual act resulting in lamentation; rape.

You hear about the new quarterback, Kirk? He just got arrested for giving some chick a barbarian wedding.

by CapAp August 9, 2006

weddings

An excuse for people you barely know or like to invite you to spend a fortune on them and fawn over them for a whole day. Sometimes they will give you expensive wedding lists and yet get away with feeding you Asti Spumanti and mild cheese sandwiches.
Once invited to the wedding it is a downhill spiral into debt and having to buy summery dresses in the winter, and an expensive gift that you know that you cannot afford and that they will never use.

"so how come you can't afford that new BMW 3 series?"

" I have been invited to a wedding and have to save up for the gift"

by Heather Scott July 17, 2005

Wedding

Event in which on receives severe physical, and mental suffering. One may receive taunts such as a baby crib or ring. Such events have been known to cause drug addictions, hoarding, cancer, the Middle Eastern Revolutions of 2011, mutation, diabetes, depression, brain damage, lay offs, sweatshops, global warming, and even death.

Phil had a wedding. Phil accidentally shot himself the next day.

by jkmilk0004 September 1, 2011