portuguese guido

Males, similar to guidos, in that they tan, gel their hair, go clubbing every night, are constantly at the gym, wear wife beaters, gold jewellry, tight fitted clothes, and racing shoes (pumas) or indoor soccer shoes (adidas).

Have metrosexual european names like Ricardo, Antonio, Sergio, and Francisco.

They think they are cool like guidos of Italian descent but are in fact of Portuguese descent. Mostly unemployed but if they have a job its as a construction worker. They are not poor however, since they usually live off of their rich families.

They drive fast and think they are great drivers, normally cheap Volkswagens wishing they were BMWs, usually with a Portuguese flag on the window.

Surprisingly good taste in women, but they fear their mothers which explains them having issues with girls - like daddy issues except for men, so they will sleep with any girl that comes their way (hot or not).
Can be spotted throughout the Greater Toronto Area, most likely in some nasty Portuguese bar or restaurant where they will be crowded around a shitty TV to watch a soccer game.

They all think they are amazing soccer players (but usually suck), wish they were Cristiano Ronaldo and in fact would probably have sex with him if they could. Cheer for Portugal during soccer tournaments but the minute they lose they cheer for Brazil.
Look at that portuguese guido, what a tool, i bet he wishes he was Cristiano Ronaldo.
by guidohater11 February 25, 2010
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portuguese knuckle

Sexual maneuver administered as a punch to the female genitalia, where the pinky knuckle and the pointer knuckle find contact with the anus and vagina, respectively (general delivery has been described as "Mike Tyson with a swerve").
Things were going great, but then I screamed 'harder!' and he gave me the Portuguese Knuckle!
by Carl Johnson Weathers December 26, 2010
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Portuguese Santa

While one person is taking a shit, he spreads his/her legs apart while on the toilet and allows another person sits on their lap and shits into the same toilet.
Dude, I had to shit so bad and Eric was already on the pot so we pulled a Portuguese Santa.
by natertot December 24, 2008
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Portuguese Holiday

when construction workers have a day off or get sent home early due to rain.
Hey, Manuel, the forecast calls for heavy rain tomorrow. Looks like we're going to have a Portuguese Holiday this week.
by IntegraMark October 14, 2011
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Portuguese Breakfast

The purged contents of a vagina the morning after a night of sexual escapades. May contain ejaculate, creams, condoms and in especially extreme cases, vegetables, bits of grass, beads, string, dog hair and / or vomit.
Hal unexpectedly got a Portuguese Breakfast when he was giving Tracy a morning licking and she sneezed. He did not know that the night before, Guido had attempted a tongue lashing, but failed when he threw up. (Hals Portuguese Breakfast contained vomited rice tacos and salsa.)
by Nick D. Danger February 10, 2010
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portuguese pirate

when a man pulls out during sexual intercourse and deficates in the womans eye, the portuguese pirate usually resembles an eye patch. when the woman screems "ARRRRR" like a pirate it has been premormed correctly.
dude i pulled the portuguese pirate on some chick last night.
by Portopotty September 20, 2006
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Portuguese shower

Instead of taking a shower one merely masks their smell by drenching their body in deodorant and cologne. Commonly done at festivals or other occassions where sanitation is not present.
Dude, a Portuguese shower isn't going to help when you're covered in pig shit.
by onetoughcop July 11, 2006
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