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i know obamas last name

listen kids i know obamas last name im gonn_ AHHH
FBI: NO
AHHHHHH
sbs
i know obamas last name
no you dont

yes i do
what is it then
CARE
...
no one should ever hear what you just said

huh?
DIE
AHHH

i know! that's what im saying! 

a perfect way to end an argument when you realize you're wrong halfway through it.
1: Daniels Hall is really nice.
2: bullshit.
1: No, its awesome
2: fuck, it is the worst place ever.
3: yeah dude, that place reeks and is never clean. it sucks.
1: I know! that's what im saying!

I know Jesus loves YOU! 

Someone making a statement acknowledging your ability to walk away from an over-the-top ridiculously dangerous situation unscathed (or with only minor injuries). Leading a charmed life.
Exiting a car accident where you were not wearing a seatbelt and you have only minor cuts; while another passenger who was wearing a seatbelt is being rushed to the hosptial to become an organ donor. A bystander says to you: I know Jesus loves YOU!

I know, right

Preppy way of saying you agree with someone, without actually sounding too smart. Native to Northern California.
Becky, "I love brunch, it's hella cool"

Sam "I know, right".

I know you are but what am I 

Basically you can't come back from it unless you use an Uno reverse card. An op roast for kids 7-10
Gay1:your mum gay lol
Gay2:no u

Gay1:uno reverse card

Gay2:I know you are but what am I

Gay1:fuck

I Know Jose 

-a term commonly used by party, wedding, barbecue or any type of event crashers that try to join a private Spanish gathering.

-"I know Jose" is used because it is very effective & believable since damn near every Spanish family has somebody named Jose in their familia.

-Used by the event crasher when faced with questions to see if they really were invited or if they are just free loading.

-If continuing questions are asked as to how do you know Jose, describe how you met him at a
1- Bodega (if in NY)
2- he sold you icys on the beach (if in Fl),
3- in jail (if in Cali)
4- he sold you weed (if in Chicago)
5- or he did some yard work for you (for everywhere else).
John Dope - Hey nice party huh?

Old Lady - Excuse me for being rude but who are you & who invited you?

John Dope - Its cool. I know how strangers like to crash parties & stuff. Dont worry Im not one of them, cuz I KNOW JOSE

Old Lady - Really? Ive heard that one before

John Dope - No really, I know Jose. He sold me that good sticky icky weed. It gave me the munchies for days.

Old Lady - Thats my Jose, I cant front. He has some good weed.