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Colonel's Christmas

The unwise decision of eating KFC on Christmas Eve, resulting in a explosive aftermath on Christmas Day.
Oh man, I really shouldn't of ate that KFC before Christmas, I really hope Grandma gets me a pair of new pants for Crimbo... as I sense The Colonel has a really BIG present for me.

Have a nice Colonel's Christmas!
by Flealan December 26, 2009
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colonel's burger

(adjective)

To be extremely excited/interested at/in something. So much so that one's face cannot hide a happy, joyous or excited expression.
Person A: "What's that you've got?"
Person B: "A new DVD player."
Person A: "Hey?! Let me see it!"
Person B: "Ahah! He's all colonel's burger at it hey?!"
by Cabji September 27, 2003
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colonel's touch

The phenomenon that occurs after eating greasy food such as KFC. Similar to the Midas touch anything touched afterwards also becomes greasy and makes all paper become transparent.
Hey look at this napkin, I've given it the colonel's touch
by Ryan the Wordsmith July 14, 2011
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Colonel's Chicken Fun Pack

When Dane Cook wanted to play a prank, he would go to KFC and order a Colonel's Chicken Fun Pack, which is, of course, not on the menu.
This is where the "prank" part comes in.
You walk in very serius, NOT all "Gigglesfest" and you stand in front of the clerk, contemplate momentarily, or rather, give the illusion of thought in your menu choice, and say, "I'll take the Colonel's Chicken Fun Pack."
If all goes well, the clerk will be left in a state of confusion, questioning his or her manger about the non-existent food item you ordered.
In performing this skit, be prepared for strange looks, and dumb questions.
WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN:
Dane : *walks into KFC* I'll take the, um...Colonel's Chicken Fun Pack.
KFC Employee : Excuse me?
Dane : The Colonel's Chicken Fun Pack.
Employee : Do you mean the laptop pack?
Dane : No.
Emlpoyee : *dumfounded* Was that a limited time offer?!

WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAPPEN:
Dane : Can I have the Colonel's Chicken Fun Pack?
Employee : That is NOT on the menu.
by ThisIsKatherine June 1, 2007
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Colonel's buttery spread

To soak a dude's legs and thighs with jazum as a condiment to flavour the flesh.
Chad doused Parker's white quivering thighs with a thick aromatic layer of Colonel's buttery spread.
by Erric Todd January 20, 2009
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The Colonel’s Gravy

The hot, busted load of jizz from an older, southern genetleman.
I took the colonel’s gravy yesterday. It was thick and creamy.

This bar is full of old guys. Looks like the colonel’s gravy is on tap tonight.
by Eaton Holgoode June 15, 2018
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colonel sander's surprise

a sexual act where a male inserts a drumstick of KFC Fried Chicken into a female's vagina while she is on her period. The male then takes the drumstick out of the woman's vagina and the drumstick appears bloody red from the vaginal discharge, hence "Colonel Sander's Surprise"
Leroy Carter was angry that Shaniqua didn't appreciate the fancy dinner he took her out to, so he stopped by KFC and later that evening, gave her a Colonel Sander's surprise!
by Dr Schmoo April 30, 2009
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