Q: "Are you coming out with the lads tonight?"
A: "I don't think so, mate. I'm just gonna stay in and
get myself a Harrison."
"I had myself a quality Harrison last night!"
"So the missus dropped to her knees and pulled out my plonker, but I was
like "
Oi, cunt! Get me a beer first and meet me at the sofa so I can get myself a proper Harrison,
like I deserve."
"
Man, I had a great night last night."
"Really? What happened?"
"I was sitting on the sofa drinking a beer and my ho just comes along, whips out the
one-eyed trouser snake, and starts chomping away!"
"Oh, you got yourself a Harrison!"
"Did I?"
"
Yes"
"Buddy, if you engage in competition X, where you will have at least a 99% chance of winning, I will give you $5,000."
"What the fuck do I want $5,000 for? I just want to sit on the sofa, drink a beer, and get a blowie."
"I think you have problem. You are addicted to getting Harrison's."
"I know! I know! I know! I need help."
"The
wife had to be taken into hospital."
"Oh dear. Why?"
"I knocked out all her teeth and
broke her jaw."
"
Fuck me."
"I know. Well, she has been giving me 3 Harrison's a day for 2 years, so I guess it's not surprising."