A swashbuckling, manipulative
pirate who sails the seas while destroying everyones plans and drinking rum. current crimes include, but are not limited to: impersonating an officer of the Royal Navy; impersonating a clergy of the
Church of
England; arson; kidnapping; perjury; piracy; pilfering; deprivation of a Federal Loyalist. Interests include rum-drinking, sword-fighting, prostitutes, and the sea.
"Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid. "
"Can we pretend she is anything but a
woman scorned, like which hell hath no?"
"You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy? "
"Mr. Gibbs, now where is that
monkey, I want to shoot something!"
"No. If we don'
t have the
key, we can'
t open whatever it is we don'
t have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding
whatever need be unlocked, which we don'
t have, without first having found the key what unlocks it? "
"Why is the rum always gone?"
-Jack Sparrow