A compass
turd is created when a person Eats two consecutive high fiber meals. The first meal is exceptionally high in protein, and the second laden with fats. The eater then passes both meals in the same defecation. The high fiber content in the compass
turd will hold a sturdy log, and the dense protein packed end sinks to the
bottom of toilet bowl while the buoyant, fatty pole will float to the surface, leaving the compass turd pointing straight up and down.
The scout master taught the intrepid scouts how to lay a compass
turd, along with many tricks and techniques of orientation in wilderness. The scouts who could birth the
best fecal compass were granted an ornate and venerable badge denoting their glorious ever-skyward
turd