A compass turd is created when a person Eats
two consecutive high fiber meals. The first meal is exceptionally high in protein, and the second laden with fats. The eater then passes both meals in the same defecation. The high fiber content in the compass turd
will hold a sturdy log, and the dense protein packed end sinks to the bottom of toilet
bowl while the buoyant, fatty pole
will float to the surface, leaving the compass turd pointing straight up and down.
The scout
master taught the intrepid scouts how to lay a compass turd, along with many tricks and techniques of orientation in wilderness. The scouts who could birth the
best fecal compass were granted an ornate and venerable badge denoting their
glorious ever-skyward turd