Skip to main content

explosive diarrhea 

Noun. Casually referred to by some as a "toilet tempest"; however, this is no casual matter.

It is a serious condition that generally originates from the ingestion of Thai food that has not received an "A" on its recent health inspection examination. The first signs of the condition (i.e. flatulence to an instant need of new trousers) usually appear within 30 seconds to 6 hours after initial ingestion. Leave the premises in a hurry and find the nearest restroom. Sit down on the throne and push right through the initial traffic-jam. Think about popping the cork off a bottle of wine, it should soon start to flow. Like a storm. The term "toilet tempest" is derived thereof.

After a fierce, epic battle with the tempest, the wine bottle is finally empty. Now proceed to use up a whole roll of Charmin® Ultra Soft, even with the 25% bonus amount that you get when you buy a Costco pack. In the end, your anus will be (at least) chapped and bleeding, so you decide to leave a few squares of toilet paper in your underwear to soak up excess blood.

Well, upon trying to flush the toilet, you find that it has been clogged about 20 times over. Without your own plunger, you wash your hands (3 times) and leave the restroom. On the way out, you tell the janitor that there is a "surprise" waiting for him (of which he's already aware due to the stench that is peeling the paint off the walls). Finally, you go and find your friends and try to forget about the horrors that you've just experienced.
John: "Nick went with his friends to 'Wild Thai'. He ended up with explosive diarrhea."

Joe: "Toilet tempest, man!"
explosive diarrhea by pepto_bismol February 21, 2014

expensive paperweight 

An object that may have had an original purpose (usually electronic devices) or a concept model of something else, but in any case unable to serve its intended purpose except as a display item or a paperweight
Since many of these paperweights, especially those of the old electronics category, required a larger investment at its initial purchase, these paperweights become expensive, hence, the "expensive paperweight"
I found an old ipod in my uncle's basement, but it doesn't even work anymore so now it's just an expensive paperweight!

Is that a BlackBerry?
It WAS a BlackBerry, now it's just an expensive paperweight!

Whoa is that seriously a holographic infrared keyboard?
Nope, this is just the concept model for a holographic infrared keyboard that got rejected during the pitch... So now it's just an expensive paperweight!

extensive garbage time

Phrase perfected by Marv Albert, referring to a basketball game in which the winning team's lead is so great, that the mere phrase "garbage time" does not do it justice. This is the part of the game where both teams have emptied their benches and are playing out the clock, but even more so than in just conventional "garbage time."
Marv Albert: "And we are now in extensive garbage time. The Knicks lead the Bulls 127 to 40."
extensive garbage time by DirkD January 29, 2007

expensive nap

A movie or play that is so boring you sleep through it. It usually costs a decent sum of money.
Man 1: "Hey Tom, how was Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 last night?"

Man 2: "Real forgettable bro, it was a total expensive nap."
expensive nap by Ganzi November 14, 2013

expensive girl

The most beautiful valentines gift ever to humanity from our Nubian King Namquan
take it off now girl -expensive girl

Expensive Girl

The greatest song of all time. Thank you Kim Namjoon for making this song.
Person one:IMMA BEAT THAT PUSSY LIKE YOU NEVER EVER FELT BEFORE!
Person two:What are you listening to?
Person one:Expensive Girl.