Mutant offspring of a full-size pickup and a size-XL minivan. Developed by Ford as a super-Suburban, intended as a heavy-duty tow and support vehicle - they do make for an effective small, terrain-capable ambulance, for example - but inexplicably adopted as a commuter car and grocery-getter by wealthy rednecks, overdefensive insecure cases, militant
libertarians and anti-societal homeschoolers with enormous families. Regarded with deep scorn by the majority of the citizenry for their pure bulk and indulgent hunger for natural resources; ironically, many Excursion owners mistakenly believe the disdain of others to be a kind of post-transferrence envy for their
Objectivist beliefs and
social standing. Little more is ever further from the truth. Ford has thankfully cancelled further production of this beast in favor of a somewhat more reasonable stretched version of the Expedition.
The five-foot-two-inch-tall
real estate agent considered her Excursion to be a
necessary projection of the magnitude of her sales figures; she never drove without having her cell phone clamped to her ear. We tended to give her unconditional right-of-way, just to be safe, while muttering about her and her neo-Napoleon complex the whole time.