Hambeast is one of those words which may have originated with Something Awful. It refers to people who are porcine, that is, piggishly fat, with arms and legs like hams.
An extremely obese mass of flesh that is collectively thought of as human. To qualify for hambeast, the being must be 100 lbs. overweight, but the minimum can travel downwards if the hambeast tries to "show their stuff" when there is glaringly too much of "it."
1. a person so extremely large, the back of their neck resembles a package of hotdogs, and their thighs are reminiscent of rice pudding on a hot afternoon
2. a term used to describe poor ld debaters at truman hs, including but not limited to a certain member nicknamed object
3. an alternative to thanksgiving turkeys
A "human" that looks like they are smuggling dozens of hams under their clothes. They are generally poor, but thoroughly enjoy cheap Gin and Tonics at the local dive bar (but they don't tip). Their favorite food is Pork Rinds, and that stuff that looks like ham grease on their clothes is usually a weird mixture of gin, sweat, actual ham grease, saliva (not necessarily theirs), and occasionally urine. Although occasionally confused with the bull dyke, hambeasts aren't always lesbians.
-Holy shit! Why's that grizzly bear wearing a skirt? I didn't know bears wore clothes.