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golden gopher 

When a dude with a 2" pencil dick creams his shorts moments before scoring with a hot chick.
My dickhead neighbor was ready to commence a threesome with Sophia Vargara and Jessica Biel when he Golden Gophered down his leg,
golden gopher by GopherHaze May 12, 2016

golden gopher 

Verb; to cover a height challenged or little person in succulent soil while they are perspiring profusely and then urinate on them to wash them clean
After a long day at the construction site and pinched for time, Brian sought out a friend to give him a golden gopher, so he could get home before his wife found out about his extra curricular activities

Golden Gophered 

Failing to deliver a shit in the toilet.

The Shit keeps poking its little head out but crawls back up into its hole.
I went to the bathroom, but I got Golden Gophered.

Spent 20 minutes on the can, but I was Golden Gophered.
Golden Gophered by DSeanK January 28, 2015