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cold lotion

Coined by comedian Bill Burr and his girlfriend Nia Hill (aka the "Lovely Nia") and shared with his legions of fans via the Monday Morning Podcast.

Refers to something that should be good but ends up being bad. Originated when Bill was about to give Nia a back massage (good) but didn't rub his hands to warm up the lotion which resulted in Nia getting shocked by the sensation his cold freckle-marked hands on her warm skin (bad). Should be said like an African American pimp stereotype from the 1970s.
Person one - "I got a raise a few weeks ago and finally got my pay check. Turns out I was bumped into a higher tax bracket and I now net less than before."

Person two - "Shiiiiiiit bro, that be some cold lotion!"

-------

Person one - "I finally got a date with Margret. Afterwards we went back to my place to fuck but when I took off her shirt she had the worst banana tits ever. I couldn't get it up."

Person two - "Ooooooo that is some cold lotion son!"
cold lotion by HabsRule June 9, 2013
Related Words
louti Loutific Loutijo Loutin Louting Loutism loutive Lottie lotis lotion

Ally Lotti 

When a person refers to someone as their “Ally Lotti” it means their soulmate
Yo man I think I found my “Ally Lotti
Ally Lotti by Instinxtz November 23, 2020

Lotioning 

“Bro I was lotioning a sweet one earlier”
“You’re always on call trying to lotion tings....”
Lotioning by Trinzico March 13, 2021

Spreading the lotion 

4-0 up! We’re now spreading the lotion.

Damn, that’s a hat trick by Occle, he’s spreading the lotion.

No way coming back from this now, the lotion has been spread.
Spreading the lotion by QTip57 March 7, 2020

Jerkin's Lotion 

Street name for Jergen's Lotion, famous for it's cock lubing masterbational qualities.
PETER: Hey, Bobby, how's it goin'?

BOBBY: Great, but I was just getting ready to leave to go shopping.

PETER: Oh man, I HATE shopping!

BOBBY: Oh, come on, I won't take that long; I'm just getting the basics -- milk, cereal, beer and Jerkin's Lotion.
A Lottie is very special. If you wver meet one then hold her very dear to you. She is either very tall or quite short. She has an amazing personality, and the most beautiful eyes. She can be very helpful when dealing with something at home, at school, or just in general. Sometimes she can act like a chav (in a good way), and other times she can be a very formal lady. You would never want to lose a Lottie, she is very important, and again, special. So many people envy a Lottie, she is smart, talented and sporty. She is a naturally pretty girl with beautiful green or blue eyes, blonde/brown hair (could be a dirty blonde shade), and smooth skin. She will hardly admit she is pretty, even though she is truly stunning in her core. She has the best personality, yet again, you would not want to lose her. Lotties can get very angry at times, and it’s very hard for them to hide that. Always try to stay on the good side of a Lottie. She will stick up for you if she is friends with you through anything. If you lie to a Lottie she will probably never forgive you. If you are fake to a Lottie she will probably never trust you again or ever. If you avoid the truth she will get very mad. She always has a best friend by her side. She likes to have ibfs but doesn’t usually request for them. You are very lucky to have a Lottie in your life.
guy 1: wow who was that you were talking to?
guy 2: that’s my girlfriend Lottie.
guy 1: i knew she was a Lottie, she is stunning!
guy 2: i know, but she doesn’t like to admit it.
girl 1: tell her that then! she doesn’t appreciate herself enough.
Lottie by name_here_ok November 4, 2018