football bat Share definition Flag Army slang, meaning "severely fucked up". Used in the context of comparison. See also: hockey cleats "Ho-ley shit, Private Snuffy! You lost your rifle??? You are fucked up like a football bat, son!" football bat by Bullzeye December 26, 2003 0 0 Get merch Get the football bat mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch