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Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier 

Someone slow, dimwitted or stupid - another way of saying "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer". Also, someone who stands out in a crowd as being particularly unintelligent.
Marisa: Why does Eric even bother talking in class - he has no idea what he's talking about.

Michael: What do you expect? I mean he's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier!

not the brightest lightbulb in the chandelier 

as defined by the reality TV show Forensic Mysteries on HLN, this a synonym phrase for "not the brightest person around"
boy 1) yo come to my backyard, i want to start a party by going out to weed

boy 2) are you an uptard, your dad, or mom will notice.

boy 1) nope my mom is not even home from work and my dad is not the brightest lightbulb in the chandelier, he will think we are trying to burn Cheetos on the barbecue or something.

Brightest tool in the shed 

When someone fucks up ither telling someone they arent the sharpest tool in the shed or the brightest lightbulb in the box
Stupid Ass Friend: Hey, you're not the brightest tool in the shed are you! LOL
Me: Stupid fuck

not the brightest bulb on the porch 

a nice way of refering to a person who is not smart or who does things that are ill-advised

See also: not the sharpest tool in the shed, a few bricks shy of a load, not playing with a full deck
Durwood: My uncle is not the brightest bulb on the porch.

Winthrop: Why do you say that?

Durwood: He saw a sign that said 'keep of the grass'... so flushed his stash o' hash down the drain.

Winthrop: Bloody 'ell!

not the brightest crayon in the box 

another term for not the sharpest tool in the shed implying that you are a total dumbass
well i guess we are not the brightest crayon in the box

Not the brightest shelf on the knife 

One who is not the prime example of human intelligence; idiot
Bob: Did you see Lisa fall down those stairs?
Dan: Yeah, she totally tied her shoes together!
Bob: Wow, She's not the brightest shelf on the knife.