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as big as my dick 

a phrase used to describe the length of something
i just bought a new flat screen tv

oh really, how big

fifty inches. it almost as big as my dick

Hard as my dick when I see a naked chick 

Just a random thing to say that somethings difficult
Me: *dies in game*
"Dammit. That's as hard as my dick when I see a naked chick!"

A dick so far up my ass my body recognizes it as a new organ

When someone takes a cock and shoves it so far up your ass your body recognizes it as a new organ.
Dude 1: I read the book A dick so far up my ass my body recognizes it as a new organ.\
Dude 2: Yeah man A dick so far up my ass my body recognizes it as a new organ is a good book