Maldon 

A place in Essex where paedophiles such as Paedo Gary won’t hesitate to maleste you. There is bare weed going around and everyone throws GAVS to get with someone.

Let’s go get raped by Gary in Maldon

Maldon by Solid guy who wrote this December 31, 2018

Maldon 

Maldon... maldon is a shitty little town in the dengie area it’s full of spastics It’s population consists of slaggy girls who are most likely being fingered behind maccers as we speak and the boys other wise known as the “heybridge Spartans” (heybridge being a sub area of maldon.. which is more shit and poor than actual maldon) who consistently call each other “brev” and drink k ciders on a weekend or weekday really there all just a bunch of wrongens wouldn’t be surprised if they fucked there own sisters auntys or mothers

We going maldon bro?

Nah man don’t wanna catch any aids

Maldon by El ym January 28, 2019

maldon 

maldon is a town in essex full of cunts. young cunts, teenage cunts and old cunts. it’s a shit place to live with nothing to do but smoke weed and eat maccers.

“Should we go out for a day in Maldon?”
“Nar it’s shit, we don’t like Maldon.”

maldon by yeahlol27 January 4, 2021

Maldon 

A fag who is power hungry and leeches on other people's talent.

That ass jocky Maldon is fuckin our shit up again.

Maldon by otomayim December 10, 2008

maldon 

A word to describe chocolately, caramel, whipped cream on top. With soft chewy chocolate chip cookies on the side. Arizona tea in a big cup. Beautiful potatos on the other side, with some fries.

Me: Yes, Trish. I would like more maldon.
Trish: Okay, here's some more maldon!
Me: YAY YUMMYNESS!

maldon by Lee-ann December 5, 2007

Maldon 

A shithole in the middle of Essex.

Here the family trees have loops instead of leaves.

On bus to Maldon: "I hope this bus crashes before I get back to Maldon".

Maldon by JimmyJimJim May 18, 2012

malding 

When someone is expressing a large magnitude of rage, often over something relatively small, that the stress they are giving upon themselves causes their hair to fall out (thus, balding). Portemanteau of "mad" and "balding".

dude, calm down, stop malding

malding by DudeTheNinja March 4, 2021