"If-A-Cop" Story

An "If-A-Cop" Story is one that you concoct when you're with a group of friends, doing something you're probably not supposed to, and you want everyone's stories to match up should you encounter some sort of law enforcement while out on your adventure/mission.

The best "If-A-Cop" stories are the simplest ones that answer these 3 questions:

~Where are you (all) going?

~Why are you going there?

and

~Where did you just come from?

The "If-A-Cop" story is ALWAYS discussed and shared with ALL members of the group BEFORE going anywhere and all members are also quizzed on the answers they will give should the "If-A-Cop" story actually be used because you've all been stopped by some sort of law enforcement personnel.

John, Mike and Mary are all walking to Tom's house to score some weed at 11 o'clock at night. Before they leave for Tom's:

John: Did we forget anything?

Mike: I don't think so...

Mary: Yeah we did! We need to come up with an "If-A-Cop" story!!! Ya know, in case the cops stop us...

John: Oh yeah! Good lookin' out!!!

"If-A-Cop" Story by Kannudo September 6, 2010

rent a cop 

A fat worthless security guard who makes 7 $ an hour, usually has no gun becuase they can,t afford one, sits on a bench waiting for something exciting to happen. tries to act like he has higher authority then everyone else. but gets paid lower then minumim wage.

rent a cop hey you there stop running
(kids keep running)
rent a cop runs after them but fails
(kids laugh at him)
rent a cop get back here or I arrest you
(kids) "with what you don,t have anything except a flashlight"
rent a cop "with my my my my my my "LEAVE THE STORE OR I CALL THE REAL POLICE"
(kids) okay
rent a cop " tries to call the police but no service
"kids laugh"
"rent a cop "to embarassed to say anything walks away

rent a cop by don,tshoveyourstickdownthre March 5, 2013

rent-a-cop-academy 

The fictional place where security guards go to learn the idiotic lingo and actions they must do to maintain a false sense of security.

Blart: "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to take your cigarette beyond the 15 foot perimeter of this entrance or I will be forced to physically subdue you in violation of Article 12 Section B Paragraph 5."
Shopper: "Hey Bub - did you learn all those multi-syllable words in rent-a-cop-academy?"

rent-a-cop-academy by Stevenstrangeways December 19, 2012

rent a cop 

Ricci's lover

Rent a Cop - "Ricci, pull down your pants now!"
Ricci - "YES SIR! I'd be VERY happy to pull down my pants and show my inerection to you sir!"
Rent a cop - "Good bitch! ^.^"

rent a cop by CheeseMaster October 30, 2003

Rent-a-cop 

Public Safety, Constables (US), Code Enforcement, Safety Patrol, Bay Constables, any uniformed federal agency, railroad/airport/transit police, etc

AND

ALL security guards, special police.

Rent-a-cop are people who lack the skills to be real cops.

Rent-a-cop by No Name USA December 27, 2005

Rent-A-Cop 

After some intense fourplay You tell your woman that you'll be right back and you head to the garage and flip all of the breakers off simulating the power going out. You grab your trusty flashlight (must be Maglite brand) and run back to the room. With all of the comotion she should be just as hot and there is nothing else to do, but proceed. In middle of going down on her, incorporate your trusty maglite into the mix, handle side, without her knowledge of what it is. When she asks why is it so cold and so hard, just turn on the light and say "Maglite baby!"

Donald: "Hey, what did you do last night?"

Joe: "Our power went out and I banged my girl with my maglite!"

Donald: "So you played a real Rent-A-Cop huh, what she do, fix your sail sack ."

Rent-A-Cop by rounder222 December 23, 2006

Rent-a-cop 

A obnoxious cop with a very large "ego" who is nothing but a waste of space in the police district. These low lives would rather stuff their faces with donuts at a nearby krispy creme or take a nice stroll into the neighborhood and arrest anyone for just about anything than perform their jobs properly. They enjoy harrassing citizens instead of helping them in a time of need. They are very adament about one's situation. Also dubbed as "donut eating bastards."

Cop: Let's see here...who can i harrass today? *officer targets a bunch of teens chatting* Cop: *shouts out window* Go home to your fucking mother! It's curfew! *cop drives off* Girl: It's 4:00 pm you stupid rent-a-cop!!!

Rent-a-cop by xnamidax November 1, 2011