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talking ass monkey

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(n). One who drones on and on about his/her problems; a non-listener, talks loudly and fast, often very opinionated.
At the cocktail party, the talking ass monkey told me everything I never wanted to know. "What are you, some kind of arrogant talking ass monkey?"
by Dave Hultgren February 23, 2004
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Monkey Pick Ass

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The phrase was came about when a certain Philadelphia radio star, began acting as a monkey doing an impression of the actor James Mason, just moments after being told that the "Putty-Nosed" Monkey can convey verbal concepts. This is a defensive maneuver to fend off predators.
"Quick here comes the cheetah! Monkey pick ass!"
by James Hoagland July 30, 2007
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A person who, for all intents and purposes, has never learned a god-damned thing. One who maintains a blissful ignorance of the world that simultaneously inspires amusement, disgust and despair in all who are unlucky enough to encounter him.
Did you see those ass-monkeys on Jaywalking last night? Ha-ha, they're so dumb...I think I'll kill myself.
by Petros March 10, 2004
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A driver who follows your vehicle at an unsafe distance in their vehicle. A tailgater.
I wish that Ass Monkey would get off my tail!
by pseudoraptor February 18, 2010
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Ass-Monkey

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1. One who exudes stupidity.
2. One who tries to be funny but fails miserably.
"The two people who submitted their versions of the definition before me (mojohojojomo and lee!) are a couple of reeeaaaalll ASS-MONKIES!!!"
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