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Talk the hair off a monkey. 

A term for when a person is incessantly talking shit.
Bob - So i go to the supermarket and I get this trolley with a dodgy wheel...blah blah blah...what the hell do women have in thier hand bags...blah blah blah...Garlic Bread! Garlic Bread!...blah blah blah...

Mike - Bob, shut the fuck up! You can Talk the hair off a monkey.
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My hair is a bird 

Tom: You're a bad friend.

Nicolas: My hair is a bird.

Tom: Nevermind. My argument is invalid.

A box of hair 

Used to describe someone with a remarkable lack of intelligence; stupid.
A box of hair by Lauralie March 5, 2008

Finer than a dog's hair split three ways 

Means that something is very fine, or that you feel excellent. If someone asks how you feel and you simply say "fine", you might just be saying it out of convention. Adding the "dog's hair split three ways" shows that you actually mean it.

Another form of the expression is "finer than a frog's hair split three ways", although literal frogs do not have hair.
You: How are you doing today?

Me: Why, I'm doing finer than a dog's hair split three ways!

a rag o' bone and a hank o' hair 

Good lord, she's just a rag o' bone and a hank o' hair - a stiff wind would blow her away!

grow a patch of hair

Saying to describe a man's lack of balls- no hair on ass.
afraid to address your boss grow a patch of hair

Brush your hair with a house centipede 

Exclamation, curse

1. Essentially a school/church friendly way of telling someone where to go. It's also a great alternative to say at work so you don't get in trouble with HR.

2. A way to end an uncomfortable conversation. The thought of using a house centipede to brush your hair is so disgusting it's a sure fire way to make your annoying friends shut the hell up
"Hey, Trish, wanna go hang out in the bathroom together? I have some things I wanna show you,"
"Go brush your hair with a house centipede, Melone!"