Banging the Monkey

1. A hopeless situation with no satisfactory solution
2. To fail spectacularly, as in 'screw the pooch'
3. To continue fighting though you cannot win
4. A legendary bout of partying

"Beating your head against the wall, fully aware your
cause was already lost. This was banging the monkey."

by Cooney Bamboo January 21, 2020

ditch monkey

The lowest pecking order of social class. Someone who wouldn't hesitate to snort a line of cocaine off a toilet seat while giving a bum a hand job.

"If that worthless ditch monkey didn't smell like urine and heroin farts, I would offer to buy him a meal."

by Kneezel July 16, 2008

Monkey Scratch

When an itch occurs just below the arm pit and you scratch it with the arm on the same side of the body as the itch.

My friend made fun of me when had to monkey scratch a really bad itch.

by Whooty wrangler December 5, 2011

hip to the monkey

To be in the know. To know the scoop behind the scenes. To know what's really going on.

She told me they were all filled up, but I was hip to the monkey on their little scam.

by alex brinkman August 5, 2005

The Penis Monkey challenge

The act of competing against others by attempting to successfully perform the "Penis Monkey Surgery" the quickest.

Man 1: "Did you see Tommy's new time on the Penis Monkey Challenge?"

Man 2: "Yes, I believe his time was 1:38!"

by Johnny Asswipe IV March 8, 2021

monkey towel

A towel one uses to ejaculate on when masturbating. Usually a distinct towel from other towels so that a person might not mistakenly use the monkey towel to wash ones face or body.

I was so horny last night because I was watching "Supernanny". Good thing I had my monkey towel near by!

by BeEmDe January 25, 2007

grease monkey

mechanic, or mechanically minded person

I got the grease monkey to fix my car

by bobbo June 6, 2003