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no-no german mustache man 

how you says adolf h i t l e r without being banned by youtube
adolf h i t l e r was no-no german mustache man

Mustache Theory 

The theory that the shorter the first name the greater the likelihood that person has a mustache. Only holds true for White Males that live in the United States.

Theory in mathematical terms:
Name<= 4 letters = Mustache
Name>= 5 letters = No Mustache
Stranger to gentleman with finely combed mustache: "Hello fine sir, may I trouble you for your name?"

Mustached Gentlemen: "Why yes, it is Al"

Stranger: "Mustache Theory!"

mustachemanship 

A specific quality, or ethos, that distinguishes one's mustache as being of higher quality than one's peers. Possessing the quality of good mustachemanship involves not only impeccable grooming and regular maintenance, but also a confidence and swagger that says, "My mustache isn't just my facial hair, it's my lifestyle!"
Tom Selleck sure is sexy with that incredible mustache. He has great mustachemanship!
mustachemanship by The Vipe February 3, 2010

Cock Mustache 

Freshly Shaven Mustache above penis shaft
Hey your cock mustache looks exactly like Keith Hernandez cock mustache
Cock Mustache by Tyrone2 June 19, 2008

forehead mustache 

Sam: Dude, take these tweezers and fix that forehead mustache.
Max: Thanks bro.
forehead mustache by steamodon August 3, 2010
A universal icon representing the epitome of authority and raw **manhood. It graces small children the chance to believe in a hero and causes evil-doers to second guess their existence. There are very few things in this world that could ever achieve the divine status that each individual hair is birthed into. Resting just above the upper lip, the mustache is a beacon to all mankind that there is hope for this world and a bright future for all who have been gifted with this treasure from God himself.

** I used manhood as a majority observation. No disrespect to the women of this world that wear their mustache with pride.
When I grow up I want a mustache like that.

Think you can handle this mustache?! I didn't think so...
Mustache by UltraMegaKev March 5, 2010