Nessie watch

Being paid good money to do nothing and essentially waste one's life away.

Another term for this is "golden handcuffs".

Man, this job is akin to being paid to sit in a chair and be on the lookout for the loch Ness monster. Hence, Nessie watch.

Nessie watch by The_real_mr_fantastic September 28, 2019

Crapstack Nessie 

The art of having such an enormous bowel movement that when you stand up and examine it before you flush....the poop is sticking up out of the water.

Dude, I ate at White Castle last night and this morning I pulled off a Crapstack Nessie!!

Crapstack Nessie by SuperDoops October 25, 2010

Drop a Nessie in the Loch

A euphemism for defecating inspired by the Loch Ness Monster. Similar to "dropping off the kids at the pool", yet with a Scottish flair.

Scotsman 1: Good gracious I had a lot to eat last night!

I've got to drop a nessie in the loch!

Scotsman 2: Sounds like a plan, laddie.

Drop a Nessie in the Loch by Kamikaze Kool-Aid Man October 1, 2010

Playing with Nessie

The act in which a man has sex with a
pregnant woman and the baby tries to play
with his dick.

(IN THE BREAKROOM AT WORK)

Dale: hey “Jim! why you walking like that?”
Jim: “Oh…I was up late Playing with Nessie.”
Dale: “Goddamn!”
Jim: “That'll probably be the last time since
my wife is due tomorrow.”

Playing with Nessie by Banana & Split June 11, 2022

Loch Nessie Messie 

(noun)- a turd of mythical size. The base stays hidden in the bowl, while the head is the only thing that is seen. If you do not snap a picture of it....people may never believe it happened.

In addition to its length, circumference, and overall gargantuan stature, these often become what are also known as "bowl stainers." Leaving behind a mess that...well...isn't human.

Brother: Dude, I just took a two foot bowl stainer and no one was home to see it.

Other brother: I don't believe you.

Brother: Damn! Another Loch Nessie Messie....

Loch Nessie Messie by Lat 5 July 31, 2011

Bowl Nessie 

A standing turd in the toliet, partially above the water line.

I just took a Bowl Nessie in the toilet.

Bowl Nessie by Johannes Baptine March 14, 2023

Messy Nessie 

A messy Nessie is when your poop is so long that one end of it is sticking out of the toilet water like the head of the Loch Ness monster

That messy Nessie was so long that it almost touched my butt

Messy Nessie by Feicstur November 29, 2024