Bret
Bret by myroflcoptergoSOISOISO September 11, 2009
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Bret
A person who makes up fake stories about their life to make himself look more interesting. Then they make you feel like a bad person when you find out they were lying and confront them about it.
Bret: "One time my dad hit me with a train when I was 2, and I wore a cast for my arm and 3 band aids for 6 days. One time when I was 10, I got into a fight with 8 Navy Seals and won. I simply kicked every one of them in the balls, one by one. They all got a dishonorary discharge for getting beaten up by a child. I'm from Rome, Romania, and I used to eat Ramen noodles there all the time b/c they're an authentic Romanian dish. I spoke French, because that's the #1 most common language spoken there. Also, I'm adopted."
Person 1: "I don't think any of that is true . Also, isn't Rome in Italy?"
Bret: "You think I don't know about my own country? What would you know? You're just a stupid American."
Person 1: "Okay! I'm sorry."
Bret: "Billie Eilish asked me out once while I was in the gym. I said no, b/c I was dating Zendaya at the time. Once I was sent away to a poultry farm to live among the chickens in their tiny cages because my parents hated me. I had to share a cage with 50 roosters for 7 yrs, and the farmers almost turned me into chicken nuggets 8 times."
Person 1: "I feel like that's not true."
Bret: "Why would I lie about something like that? I'm trying to share a traumatic event with you & your 1st response is to question me and invalidate my experience?"
Person 1: "Uh.."
Bret: "I grew up my entire life as a homeless child, b/c my adopted parents have no jobs."
Person 1: "Your parents are literally brain surgeons."
Bret: "SHUT UP DYLAN!"
Person 1: "I don't think any of that is true . Also, isn't Rome in Italy?"
Bret: "You think I don't know about my own country? What would you know? You're just a stupid American."
Person 1: "Okay! I'm sorry."
Bret: "Billie Eilish asked me out once while I was in the gym. I said no, b/c I was dating Zendaya at the time. Once I was sent away to a poultry farm to live among the chickens in their tiny cages because my parents hated me. I had to share a cage with 50 roosters for 7 yrs, and the farmers almost turned me into chicken nuggets 8 times."
Person 1: "I feel like that's not true."
Bret: "Why would I lie about something like that? I'm trying to share a traumatic event with you & your 1st response is to question me and invalidate my experience?"
Person 1: "Uh.."
Bret: "I grew up my entire life as a homeless child, b/c my adopted parents have no jobs."
Person 1: "Your parents are literally brain surgeons."
Bret: "SHUT UP DYLAN!"
Bret by therealoxforddictionary1 April 18, 2022
Bret
Bret is hot.
Bret
A old ceedy barstard who stairs at Amanda with his gay little binoculars all day long. He looks at her ass all the time and gets a stiffy off her all the time. He is known as pop or dirty grandpa
Bret
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