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Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick 

From the song "Stuart," by The Dead Milkmen:

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's the Werzner kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?"

sweet zombie jesus on a pogo stick! 

Phrase used in extreme exclamation. Derived by the chracacter of Black Mage in "8-bit Theatre" as he was being held over a pot of deadly acid.

Jesus fucking Christ on a pogo stick 

Exclamation of surprise or shock as a result of nothign short of a miracle.
Jesus fucking Christ on a pogo stick! How did you get pregnant without having sex?!

jumping jesus on a pogo stick 

Something that really catches your attention.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph on a pogo stick!

The irreverent, blasphemous, Catholic-blasting exclamatory phrase used when a stupid and funny event occurs.
Lars was so drunk that he left his house in his tidy-whiteys without his pants, went to the corner store, and brought back a six-pack.

You: What an idiot! Jesus, Mary and Joseph on a pogo stick!

Jesus h christ (on a popsicle stick) 

Jesus h christ on a popsicle stick--why won't this damn engine turn over!!!