telesleeping

A farcical term for “working” from home.

The Covid Pandemic has given many state employees the chance to prove their work ethic by generously compensating them for telesleeping positions.

by Dr Bunnygirl November 17, 2020

telesurfing

When you’re supposed to be working from home but you’re actually out surfing.

It’s a good thing that California taxpayers are willing to fund our hard-earned telesurfing positions.

by Dr Bunnygirl November 18, 2020

telesto

The best weapon in the video game series, Destiny. It's so good, it causes popular twitch streamers to lose their mind and act like childish imbeciles when they get killed by it.

I just got killed by a guardian using Telesto. I shall take to twitter and end this madness.

by AJ1311 October 10, 2018

japanese telescope

When the girl jerks off the man's penis in resemblance to a telescope. The man proceeds to cum in the woman's eye making her squint like a Japanese person.

I have the Japanese telescope ready ;).

by Chester St. Rumpterfrabble February 9, 2017

telescope

One of many euphemistic terms for a penis. Most famously used in this context in the Big Bang Theory episode, "The Boyfriend Complexity." In that episode, Howard and Raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. The next day, when Leonard casually asked Howard and Raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though Leonard hadn't heard about the kiss.

(FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY)

*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*

LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?

RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.

LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?

RAJ: Why? You writing a book?

SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.

RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!

SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

*Howard walks over to the table.*

HOWARD: Hey.

LEONARD: Hey.

SHELDON: Hello.

HOWARD: Hey.

RAJ: Hey.

LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?

*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*

HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!

RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!

HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!

RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!

HOWARD: Fine!

RAJ: Thank you!

RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.

by Daedalus Suburbanus December 6, 2013

telescreen

From George Orwell's 1984. It's a wall-mounted electronic device that doubles as a television and a surveillance camera. Used by the Thought Police to monitor the citizens.

We're probably about 10 years away from having telescreens - or their equivalent - installed in all our homes. God Bless America.

by Mack June 23, 2004

telesigned in

1. The process of signing into online account, such as email or your profile, by giving your user name, password, and inputting a security code that is sent to your phone.

2. Replaces "logged in" when you use your phone to sign in to an online account.

Dude, I telesigned in into my Facebook account so you can't hack it anymore.

by Clouddefender December 30, 2011