Straightener 

The name given to a consented pre organized refereed fight event between two people to settle a prolonged conflict or disagreement that they have failed to come to an agreement on and have past the point of resolving matter with discussion.
In representative of themselves or as a representative of opposing groups.

Used as a method of achieving peace on respectable terms with minimal casualties.

“We are having a straightener so we can put this all behind us.”
“We only fight with our fists, we don’t use weapons, we want a straightener.”

Straightener by RealMsgR March 30, 2025

hair straightener

A haircare tool that looks like a pair of barbecue tongs. There are two bits of metal on the inside of the 'tongs', and when you plug the straightener in, flick 'On', and select how hot you want it to go, the bits of metal will become extremely hot. DO NOT be a dumbass and grab the wrong side (I've never done that - ahem). Brush your hair out, add some heat protection balm or spray if you don't want your hair to fry, and then select a half-inch amount of hair, and clamp the two sides of the straightener together, running down the hair. Do this a few times and the hair will be left looking straight. The hotter the setting, the straigher your hair will be, but it will also be more damaging. Hair straightening is easier on thin hair than thick hair.

When the straightening is finished, mist your hair with hair spray, gloss sheen, a/o other styling products. If it's a misty or humid day outside your hair will instantly puff up and frizz as soon as you step outside -- this is why you need to make sure you're straightening your hair on a day that is pretty dry and sunny.

Your straight hair will last until you take a shower and wash your hair. If you're lucky, the hair will be left in the exact same condition as you started out with. If you're not so lucky, your hair will be left looking like you stuck a finger in an electric socket until you go to the hairdresser and get a deep conditioning treatment.

The best hair straighteners to use are the ceramic ones. The ionic ones are good too, and let's not forget the mother of all hair straightners, CHI.

hair straightener by Angelacia July 7, 2007

hair straightener hickey 

burns on the neck from hair straighteners that look like hickeys.

Everyone thought it was a real hickey, but it was just a hair straightener hickey.

hair straightener hickey by chicken burrito September 26, 2011

Dick Straightener 

The ability to hit someone with such great force that it causes them to get an instant erection.

Coach Mitch- "Holy cow that was a garsh darn good hit!"

Coach Stew- "That kid right there is a dick straightener!"

Coach Mitch- "Easy.."

Dick Straightener by CoachStew February 17, 2010

My straightener is hot 

Girls can say this phrase when a cute boy is around and they want to tell their friends discretely. It is just another way to say a guy is hot or cute.

Pretend a cute boy comes onto the subway. You tell your friend that my straightener is hot. She will get the idea that there is a cute boy around.

My straightener is hot by gocrazy54 October 23, 2010

left-handed cheese straightener 

1. A complicated-seeming gadget, the purpose of which is nonexistent or difficult to discern. Popularized by comedian George Carlin in a skit where he explained that only in America was the patent for a left-handed cheese straightener already taken.

2. Something odd that can only be found in America.

Person 1: What the #$%&@ is that jumble of levers and pulleys supposed to be?
Person 2: Why, it must be a left-handed cheese straightener!

left-handed cheese straightener by Mlle. Plath April 2, 2006

Spaghetti Straightener 

A woman who turns a gay man into a straight man

That girl is a real spaghetti straightener.

Spaghetti Straightener by TurnThemStraight September 25, 2018