Itchy Barnacles

Enflamed and enraged hemorrhoids that are itching worse than a case of chicken pox. Rendering the person in a miserable, squirming state longing for relief from a medicated pad or salve.

Carl's job as a trucker often rendered him on the long hauls with a case of itchy barnacles. He frequently had to make stops along the way for a little rectal ointment to smooth the fire.

Itchy Barnacles by Eaton Holgoode December 11, 2015

Cum Barnacles

The collection of cum on the bottom of one's feet after jerking off in the shower.

I dropped such a huge load in the shower last night that I don't think all of it went down the drain; I am pretty sure that I had some cum barnacles.

Cum Barnacles by urbancocktionary December 15, 2011

Genital Barnacles 

Genital Barnacles or just the Barnacles, for short, is a mutant form of genital herpes named for its resemblance to actual marine barnacles. You will know you’ve got the Barnacles when your herpes sores become calcified and start building small colonies. Because of its calcified nature, Genital Barnacles is often hard to get rid of and can become very uncomfortable. Seek help if… the barnacles don’t go away after 2 weeks, you’ve spread your barnacles to multiple partners; you’ve got more barnacles than the hull of the Queen Mary. Barnacles often run rampant on college campuses and in lesbian communities. The disease is often spread through scissoring, and if not treated quickly, Genital Barnacles can morph into its more malignant state known as Genital Coral; if this happens, seek help immediately. Like the Ebola virus, the source of barnacles is unknown, but it is thought to originate somewhere on the Boston College campus.

Bitch I'm not touching you until you get those Genital Barnacles scraped.

Genital Barnacles by Frank Hillerman February 3, 2008

Beef Barnacles 

A disease riddled cock. Like barnacles on the hull of a boat, it's all cankered up with venereal/genital warts.

The last time I banged a street whore I ended up with beef barnacles.

Beef Barnacles by Eaton Holgoode April 7, 2017

billions of blistering blue barnacles

Exclamation used by Captain Haddock in the English translation of one of the adventures of Tintin.

(Flower pot shatters on Haddock's head).
Haddock:
Billions of blistering blue barnacles!!!

billions of blistering blue barnacles by Fearman September 26, 2007

Shit Barnacles

Dabs, blobs or streaks of leftover shit stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl. Can be challenging to remove. Often immune to direct urination. Un-effected by harsh chemicals. Sometimes remaining in the bowl until the cleaning person comes.

Damn, someone flushed too soon and left shit barnacles!

Shit Barnacles by Mike Mermel July 11, 2014

beaver barnacles 

Infected scabby sores found on a bitches beaver one might expect to find a pearl in.

She looked good but when she pulled her pants down, she had beaver barnacles.

beaver barnacles by Suka may korncob December 7, 2020