Estimator
An employee that works for a construction firm or general contractor that prices projects and tries to make the company as much money as possible. This requires lots of lying to subcontractors and giving away other numbers in order to have them lower their costs so you can screw them in the ass while you make your company more money. The job also requires you to count every nail, doorknob, electrical outlet and tampon despenser (also known as a Sanitary Napkin Despenser) in a building. Throughout the day you will degrade architects left and right becuase they don't even know how to wipe their own asses. You will go home and fall aspleep with numbers flying around in your head and you will wake up and write down notes like "Remember to include damproofing in the elevator pit" in your sleep. Most people can't handle the job and either end up suicidal or fired. Those that stick around end up making decent money and look foward to rediculing architects.
Example 1-
Architect: "Derp, I think I forgot to include the second floor of the building in my drawings...I was too busy getting my Chevy Volt to run on plant by product. Looks like I'll have to issue an adendum and make everyone work all night since the bid is due tomorrow, derp."
Estimator: "Well, you also forgot to include the roof drawings and the roof specifications you fucking tard...did you actually go to school or did you become brain damaged after you graduated."
Example 2:
The estimator twisted and turned in his sleep while visions of floor base and steel grating spun around in his head. "Was the foundation big enough to fit the grating?" he thought in his sleep then woke up sweating and wrote down some notes.
Architect: "Derp, I think I forgot to include the second floor of the building in my drawings...I was too busy getting my Chevy Volt to run on plant by product. Looks like I'll have to issue an adendum and make everyone work all night since the bid is due tomorrow, derp."
Estimator: "Well, you also forgot to include the roof drawings and the roof specifications you fucking tard...did you actually go to school or did you become brain damaged after you graduated."
Example 2:
The estimator twisted and turned in his sleep while visions of floor base and steel grating spun around in his head. "Was the foundation big enough to fit the grating?" he thought in his sleep then woke up sweating and wrote down some notes.
Estimator by Estimator from hell February 2, 2012
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