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2 legged hippo wearing a man's head as a hat 

2 legged hippo wearing a man's head as a hat

When a guy's fat gut is so huge it resembles a hippopotamus head ... it therefore must be a hippopotamus that only has 2 legs and has purchased itself a lovely man's head for a hat (probably not such a lovely hat given the size of the gut)
Wtf? Is that a 2 legged hippo wearing a man's head as a hat?

if i beat it i aint wearing a johnny 

Its a term forin people use
person 1: Are you gonna have sex with that girl?
person 2: yea
person 1: Are you wearing a condom
person 2: If i beat it i aint wearing a johnny

duck wearing a wonderbra 

A duck wearing a wonderbra refers to a very unlikely event.
My going out with you is as likely as a duck wearing a wonderbra.

wearing socks 

If you're wearing socks, nothing you do is gay (see no homo).
Friend: I heard you had sex with Jeff. I didn't know you were gay!
You: It's ok. I was wearing socks.
Friend: Ok nevermind.

wearing them loose

When a woman is wearing them loose this means that she is not wearing a bra.
Kathy was wearing them loose when we went out last night. Each was a real handfull
wearing them loose by Cranberry Bob December 29, 2019

Wearing the juice 

Being so incompetent as to be unable to recognise one's own incompetence.
Yet, when arrested, Wheeler was completely disbelieving. “But I wore the juice,” he said. Apparently, he was under the deeply misguided impression that rubbing one’s face with lemon juice rendered it invisible to video cameras.

How many of your employees are wearing the juice?
Wearing the juice by Alessus November 29, 2010