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Ass-mud attack 

On the day after a very heavy drinking session, the victim can sometimes feel his/her anal sphincter almost give up, unexpectedly at an inopportune moment. The fear of this causes a serge in adrenaline which can momentarily provide the victim with enough power and control to prevent the full evacuation of the bowels. This process happens in less than a second but can be repetitive over the course of a few minutes forming a type of 'attack'. e.g. asthma attack. This can be exasperated when in a seated position (due to the body being use to this position when defecating) and on some form of transport. E.g. on a plane, in a car or on a train, etc.
A victim of such an attack usually suspends all rational thoughts, objectives and tasks as their new primary objective becomes getting to a toilet as soon as humanly possible before the worst happens.
"I went out after work last night with a friend and had way way too many beers". I had an ass-mud attack on the train on the way into work this morning".
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🤡🫵🏻

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Person 1: Insert completely incorrect and/or idiotic statement here
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