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Cylindrical Pouring Device 

A jug.

You understand?

Just a jug.

IT'S A FUCKING JUG!
<TheJoker> Yo, pass me the CPD, I'm thirsty.
<LD> IT'S A JUG, DAMN YOU! A JUG!
* LD hurls a jug at TheJoker
<TheJoker> Oh no, my face! I have seen the errors of my ways!
Cylindrical Pouring Device by LD December 15, 2004

calendrically challenged

1. unable to remember the number of days in each month.

2. unable to sustain a long-term schedule or plan, due to a lack of stable subjective significance of the passage of time (i.e. zoomers), rather than disinterest in the desired outcome (i.e. slackers).

3. unable to remember appointments, birthdays, the current day of the week, the month or the current year, often experienced with hangover on New Year's day.

4. unable to flip the pages of a calendar.

5. the state of being perpetually anxious regarding all possible future courses of events.

6. believing that the world will end in some prophesied year, e.g. 1000, Y2K, 2012, etc.

7. Confused state wherein the dates comprising "next weekend" cannot be ascertained.

8. frequently absent without leave
You missed they party! Are you a flake or just calendrically challenged?

I'm sorry! The invitation arrived last Monday, so I thought it was NEXT weekend, instead of this one.

cylindrical glass saber 

S: Bro, pass the cylindrical glass saber please? Lookin to pack some danks...

M: Alright man... but I get greens.

The Russian Cylindrical Muddy Gutter Astronomical Banana Peeler 

The act of sex between two gay men in which one man pours a large bottle of vodka into the other man's anus. The man without the vodka then proceeds to rub mud over the other man's asshole, using the mud as lube, and begins to fuck the man without stopping, until all of the vodka has drained onto the floor. Both men are only allowed to say and/or moan banana throughout the whole process. The two men then proceed to lick up all of the vodka that is now on the floor, and are not allowed to leave until all of the vodka has been licked up.
"So have you fucked yet?"
"No, but when we do, he said he'd let me do the Russian Cylindrical Muddy Gutter Astronomical Banana Peeler."
"Damn, now I'm jealous."

Cylindrical Pouring Device 

Also known as a "CPD", is a device used to aid in the pouring of liquids. Most commonly used with bagged milk, but can be used with almost anything requiring pouring.
TheJoker: Yo, pass me the CPD, I'm thirsty.
Eldee: No, the CPD is mine, I love CPD's, they're so cool.
TheJoker: I know