ˈē / ˈī / ˈbē
EIB is the pinnacle representation of mandatory fun. Contestants, often referred to as one or more of at least 20
words and or/ phrases, compete against themselves in a series of challenges, while being graded by superiors, peers, and subordinates. While annually conducted, the challenges remain the same; with the
rules changing.
Of important note, if an individual fails a challenge, they may declare a rematch; which adds to the authenticity of/ legitimacy of the games.
If successful, the individual gains the illustrious
blue broach; color derived from fabricated concepts based on the social construct of misogynistic alpha males living in unrealistic and misguided realities.
Failed contestants restart the training and partake in challenges in a purgatorial cycle of suffering fitness,
mental acuity, and family stability.
I can’t believe you actually read my toilet literature. No really, I’m writing this while naked on the
toilet. Just
throw me an upvote
will ya?
I just got my (EIB). I can now wield a
false sense of
power and authority; sharing my
false sense of expertise to all who are within earshot.
