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Master of deception 

on-point description of junior Grimes

What Junior Grimes is, (old J)

For none even close than mistah J at deceiving and he’s VERY GOOD at it since he’s able to blend in and stand out simultaneously. J is the master of deception after all, he could be your friend and your worst enemy altogether and you’d never even know nor suspect it
J is the master of deception, anyone who claims otherwise or to be the master of deception is deluded or mistaken

Master of deception is someone who’s able to appear as an ally when in reality is plotting your downfall and to overthrow order and your entirety

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Junior IS the master of deception

transverse digestion 

An unfortunate birth defect whereby one’s digestive tract is reversed, causing one to eat with their ass and crap out of their mouth. The ass must be trained to chew food in the same manner as teeth. A serious side effect of transverse digestion is halitosis.
Derek: “Hey Mike, how come you never eat with us?”
Mike: “I didn’t want you to watch me eat with my transverse digestion condition.”
Derek: “So THAT’S why your breath stinks like shit!”
A place where in my case I catch up on sleep.
Ms Smith gave me a Detention for being late. But she should know by now its not gonna make me learn from my mistake its gonna make me hate her a HELL of a lot more.
Detention by A Human Male July 14, 2018

one direction detection 

We've... Got... A... Plan!

Get ready for... ONE DIRECTION DETECTION.

porn deletion syndrome 

PDS: Primary symptoms include deletion of large quanitities of porn after masturbation, followed by feelings of regret, and the subsequent downloading of even more porn to compensate for the loss. The disease typically takes hold after a rapid influx of new porn into the computer system will lead it to reach a level of Critical Ass: a type of self-actualization crisis in which a guy realizes that he could have ran for Congress and won, attained Grandmaster status in chess, or even developed an effective treatment for PDS had he chosen to apply himself differently. At this point, most males enter into the final stage of the process after swearing that they will never watch another porn for the rest of their cursed lives. This "Renouncement Stage" typically lasts somewhere between the amount of time David Blaine stood on a pole without sleeping, and the time David Blaine spent in a water bubble shitting in a tube, and usually ends similarly with intense crying after realizing the beauty of humanity. Fear not my friends, we will find treatment, and by treatment, I mean we will find a way for you not to delete your favorite episode of "Barely Legal" when it is clearly still its prime.

Erection Detection

When you get a boner with short shorts and your dick comes peeking out the bottom and everyone around can see.
Aaron:"O shit I gotta boner with these little soccer shorts!"

Everyone around looks and can clearly see his penis.

Bystander:"Man, that guy is really struggling with erection detection..."