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a person who does not use social media 

I can't find Don anywhere on social media. He must be a social media ghost (SMG) in other words he is a person who does not use social media.

Does not compute 

A phrase often used by computers and robots in science fiction TV shows and movies, meaning failure to understand.

The phrase has been attributed to the comedy TV show ‘My Living Doll’.
Does not compute. Please say that again in plain English.
Does not compute by AuntyMouse April 12, 2009

This problem was caused by Windows. This program was created by Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft Corporation does not currently have a solution for the problem that you reported.

The most common, if not the only message you will see when linking to Microsoft's "solution pages" after using the error reportingfeature

Example: When my PC couldn't play music due to a "missing audio device error" I linked to this message screen.
So I went looking on message boards for similar issue and found one. The person posted about how Microsoft had nothing.
That forum entry was posted two YEARS before.
Me: Oh cool! I can just link to Microsoft's solution page! How convenient....

This problem was caused by Windows. This program was created by Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft Corporation does not currently have a solution for the problem that you reported.

Me: You've got to be kidding. Oh Cool! Windows has a built-in help program....

rascal does not dream of bunny girl senpai 

kinda weird at the beginning

depressing at the end
dude 1: meh, never really liked rascal does not dream of bunny girl senpai
dude 2: i will grind your kneecaps into a power for my clam chowder

does not spark joy 

A phrase for expressing dissatisfaction with or contempt for literally anything in a manner and style consistent with Marie Kondo.
Dude, where did you get this whiskey? It does not spark joy. I can feel my gastric lining deteriorating.

My boat does not shake in your particular direction 

Disagreeing with something. Created by the BBC's Sherlock fandom. Usually used when talking about slash and/or Benedict Cumberbach and Martin Freeman's love of one another.
Friend: I don't believe in shipping John and Sherlock under any circumstances.

Me: My boat does not shake in your particular direction. We (the fandom) will ship them hard, and slashily. THE PURPLE SHIRT OF SEX FOREVER!