Total screw-up. Usually used ironically, to indicate when someone's self-delusion is in direct contradiction to well-known and easily-observed facts.
"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."
December 14, 2005
Sure to be Under Vehicle.
"Well, I can give you this car with a five-star safety rating, which gets 38 miles a gallon, for twelve grand . . . OR I can give you this SUV which gets ten miles a gallon and hasn't gone through any safety tests at all for twenty-five grand."
"I'll take the SUV!"
January 29, 2005
Do you really want to know?
February 21, 2004
The first automated spammer, Argic was an AI program which would grep
for messages containing "turkey" or "armenia" and then reply about how two and a half million Turks were supposedly killed by Armenians during World War I, even though history remembers it the other way. He would sprinkle in various childish insults like "gum brain" and assume everyone online was Armenian.
"Any recipes for turkey surprise?" "Ask your CRIMINAL Armenian grandparents, gum brain!"
January 09, 2005
A can "opened up" on someone annoying you. Also comes in permutations of diet, caffeine-free, vanilla, all kinds of fruit flavoring which doesn't really taste like fruit, half-calorie, invisible, Dr. Whoopass, energy-formulated, and the New Whoopass, the last being hated by everyone so the company can make millions when people want to open up a can o Whoopass Classic.
Don't make me open a can o' whoopass!
February 24, 2005
Japanese instant noodles which come in cup or block form, popular with college students (who can't afford anything else) and otaku (who just like anything Japanese). As a connoisseur of cheap DIY meals, I've developed means of assigning ramen a rating on a scale of zero to four stars: One half-star for every flavor packet beyond the first, one star if it comes in its own cup, an extra half star if that comes with its own meat or vegetables, and a star and a half if the dry noodles don't remind me of Play-Doh.
Ramen's not as good as lo mein, but I got it at 1/40 the price the Jade Dragon was charging.
having human excrement in the cranium, shithead
"Is it a Triassic human fetus or coprolite?"
"Given who 'found' it, don't you mean coprocephalic?"