william dean a. garner's definitions

Pooton

Noun. Pronounced POO-tahn. A shitload of trouble. Major notgoodness.

Dude, you just got us into major pooton.

by William Dean A. Garner May 22, 2011

mockumentary

a film that has the look and feel of a television documentary, but with the irreverent humor and slapstick of a comedy, designed to "mock" the documentary or subject it features.

"Drop Dead Gorgeous," which ridicules a local Minnesota beauty pageant, is the illegitimate child of "This Is Spinal Tap" -- a weak link in the people-are-stupid tradition. In that it portrays a group of film students making a documentary about a local witch legend, "The Blair Witch Project" is not unlike those "the making of" movie documentaries with which subscribers to HBO and Showtime are all too familiar.

by William Dean A. Garner August 28, 2003

butterface

Fat on a man's face that makes the head look like a vertical dumbbell, with puffy jowls.

Until recently, actor John Goodman had a classic butterface, with that quirky dumbbell look to it.

by William Dean A. Garner April 25, 2011

gimmee-back

The Return on Investment or ROI that a criminal gets when he cashes in his chips or finishes an illegal job

Soon as Marco cleaned up the bloody floor, he went to the Big Boss for his gimmee-back, a new Camaro.

by William Dean A. Garner November 4, 2009

tranquil impressionism

a new movement in the genre of impressionistic painting, in which colors and textures are blended together harmoniously to create various moods in the mind of the beholder.

Coined by William Dean A. Garner

Please see http://tranquilimpressionism.com

Tranquil impressionism paintings can be viewed here: http://tranquilimpressionism.com

by William Dean A. Garner March 28, 2009

LUC

The "Law of Unintended Consequences," or LUC, is a natural law that basically means SHIT HAPPENS

As LUC would have it, the "dream girl" I met 48 hours ago left me, stole my life savings, took my cat, ate all my food and called my Mom and told her I was a terrorist in training.

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003

X-factor

1. An unknown variable

That homey's got too many "x-factors." Pop his ass and be safe.

by William Dean A. Garner September 10, 2003