von groovy's definitions

mesmerizing moles of majesty

These are the beautiful moles people have on their neck or chest that inspire others to want to explore their bodies for more.

And then one morning, she was wearing a revealing shirt and he discovered her mesmerizing moles of majesty. He would never be the same. He began to have nightly dreams of giving her the kiss of bliss right where her legs begin so that she was lickled to the point of creating emotional lotion. Sadly, he did not nothing and continued stretching feelings out of fear of rejection and possibly being kissapointed.

by von groovy June 27, 2024

pukulele

The instant reaction one has when someone who no one is paying attention to breaks out their conveniently available ukulele to play dumb songs that no one wants to hear and ruins the groove that everyone has going on so as to only pay somewhat attention to them.

The tight and chill hang was positive as all were feeling right until Aaron told everyone that he had learned how to play a "classic" on the ukulele that he so happened to have his in his backpack. Everyone was polite but as soon as he started playing, they were in a state of pukulele and began to talk louder than his terrible playing.

by von groovy July 26, 2024

online moms

Something you call someone who tries to censor or control your online life so that you are more positive and non-judgmental of others.

Duke: Man, I saw what you commented on Janice's post of her in her bikini. Not nice. So she still has some baby fat. I think you should remove that comment and replace it with an encouraging compliment.
Buck: Whatever! She's kinda chunky and too pale! What are you, my online moms now? You want to hit it! Admit it!

by von groovy June 10, 2017

black tights matter

A movement to ensure that women continue to wear yoga pants to the amusement of all straight men, bi, and lesbians everywhere

I was driving down the street and I heard some dude yell "black tights matter" at some apple bottomed belles.

by von groovy April 13, 2019

front flossing

The act of only flossing the teeth that people will see. People who engage in this behavior are often suspect of not keeping other areas as clean as they should be.

Peter: I just came back from the dentist and she was pissed at me.
Mary: Why's that? You seem to take of your teeth. Your smile looks clean.
Peter: That's it. She knows I am only front flossing. It was embarrassing.
Mary: It should be! Take an extra minute out of your day! I bet you only wash your hands when people are around.
Peter: Sometimes I only use water when soap is available. Even after a poo. I'm a mess!

by von groovy June 15, 2017

as crucial as cucumbers

Unless your making pickles, cucumbers are not crucial so this is a saying when you declare something as not necessary.

As Mary was getting ready for her job interview, she realized that she had neglected to brush up on her Spanish. As this job required no language other than French, she calmed herself and realized her concerns were as crucial as cucumbers.

by von groovy August 9, 2024

salty salutation

This is what is said when people are greeting you or sending you off and it is positive but it has a negative tone to it so you don't know if you are actually liked by these people. It's awesome to give but not so much fun to receive

As Donny was walking into the party, multiple people said that it was great to see him and then called him "Donny the Dumb Shit!" Donny was perplexed by this salty salutation and his fears were confirmed when someone said the same thing to him as they spit into the beer he just got from the keg.

by von groovy August 7, 2024