Definitions by trilliam turdsworth
cannafart
a gaseous emission occurring during or shortly after the consumption of significant quantities of cannabis. true cannafarts have the potential to produce psychedelic effects in those who inhale their fumes. in eastern Ukraine, rural villagers participate in a practice wherein five to ten men gather in a small cedar sauna, eat copious quantities of beans while smoking bongs of hashish, and cannafart themselves into oblivion, colloquially known as the Slavic hotbox.
person one: did you just cannafart?
person two: why do you ask?
person one: suddenly, this room smells like a fresh turd and i'm super high.
person two: as a matter of fact, i did. i cannafarted.
person one: thanks for being honest about it. do you think you have another stored up?
person two: sure do. rips fat stinker
person one: nice. thanks.
person two: why do you ask?
person one: suddenly, this room smells like a fresh turd and i'm super high.
person two: as a matter of fact, i did. i cannafarted.
person one: thanks for being honest about it. do you think you have another stored up?
person two: sure do. rips fat stinker
person one: nice. thanks.
cannafart by trilliam turdsworth December 31, 2021
rip
a lot of people wonder why the verb "rip" is used to describe the activity of excreting a fart out of your ass. this is a fascinating subject. based on a great deal of research, we have concluded that when "ripping a nasty," you are quite lit'rally ripping a hole in the previously fart-less space-time continuum, and injecting a stinker into the emergent vacuum: thus, you are ripping. it was believe this coined by Albert "Airturds" Einstain in 1904 in his magnum o'piss, "An die Physiker des Stinkertons."
thomas pebbles: fucking shit, dude, i fucking ripped so loud last night right at the moment i oh'jizm'd with kara.
daniel day luiz: dude, i have done that, it sucks. so embarrassing, especially if a lil doodoo squirts out.
pebbles: yeah, was so nasty. karen didn't say anything though.
day luiz: my dad usually doesn't either but it's just how it goes.
pebbles: it felt so good though.
daniel day luiz: dude, i have done that, it sucks. so embarrassing, especially if a lil doodoo squirts out.
pebbles: yeah, was so nasty. karen didn't say anything though.
day luiz: my dad usually doesn't either but it's just how it goes.
pebbles: it felt so good though.
rip by trilliam turdsworth December 18, 2021
hofart
hofart by trilliam turdsworth September 14, 2021
vintage fart
on certain occasions, after one has consumed a particularly elegant meal—for example, of curried mussels with sausages, french fried potatoes, and port wine drunk from pig's bladders—one may seek to capture the essence of one's gaseous excretions in a flask. this typically happens only once or twice in a decade. the very best farts are known "body-spirits," or "esprit-de-corps," in the original french. such ripples will gain in complexity during the years they spend in the bottle, acquiring notes of dogshit, turpentine, penis sweat, and shark farts.
jamal: shall or shan't we uncork a few vintage farts this eve?
edgar: but of course, my good man.
jamal: i'll let you do the honors.
edgar: let me just take a dump right quick.
jamal: yeah no prob.
edgar: just opened it. smells so friggin good. just smells just like a dick.
jamal: cool.
edgar: yeah sick.
edgar: but of course, my good man.
jamal: i'll let you do the honors.
edgar: let me just take a dump right quick.
jamal: yeah no prob.
edgar: just opened it. smells so friggin good. just smells just like a dick.
jamal: cool.
edgar: yeah sick.
vintage fart by trilliam turdsworth July 22, 2021
stinkerton
a portmanteau of the words "stink"and "pinkerton."
stink refers to something smelly, namely a fart.
pinkerton refers to a private detective.
thus, a stinkerton is a private detective hired to investigate the origins of a particular rip. the best stinkertons have backgrounds in fartography. if a trained fartographer is present at the scene of a true stink, undoubtedly he/it/they will be able to identify who released the rotten wind.
stink refers to something smelly, namely a fart.
pinkerton refers to a private detective.
thus, a stinkerton is a private detective hired to investigate the origins of a particular rip. the best stinkertons have backgrounds in fartography. if a trained fartographer is present at the scene of a true stink, undoubtedly he/it/they will be able to identify who released the rotten wind.
cadwallader: i lit'rally just dumpt unto my trousers.
triebwasser: shall we ring up a stinkerton?
cadwallader: wha'for, dear man? i just confessed to the smell-crime.
triebwasser: fair enough, my liege. 'tis a true abomination of the senses.
triebwasser: shall we ring up a stinkerton?
cadwallader: wha'for, dear man? i just confessed to the smell-crime.
triebwasser: fair enough, my liege. 'tis a true abomination of the senses.
stinkerton by trilliam turdsworth November 5, 2019
fartography
the study of the interrelations between fart and place.
by analogy: as "terroir" is to wine, so is fartography to flatulence.
the most skilled fartographers are able to identify with uncommon specificity not only the ethnic background of the individual who authored a particular fart, but also the kind of food that person ate, whether or not his or her ancestors grew up near a farm or at high altitude, and whether he or she is lactose intolerant.
fartography is a fascinating discipline whose implications are only now becoming clear.
among pioneering practitioners, Johnald G. Stinkefeller is notable for his contributions to the field.
by analogy: as "terroir" is to wine, so is fartography to flatulence.
the most skilled fartographers are able to identify with uncommon specificity not only the ethnic background of the individual who authored a particular fart, but also the kind of food that person ate, whether or not his or her ancestors grew up near a farm or at high altitude, and whether he or she is lactose intolerant.
fartography is a fascinating discipline whose implications are only now becoming clear.
among pioneering practitioners, Johnald G. Stinkefeller is notable for his contributions to the field.
civilian: jesus! what the hell is that smell?
fartographer: indeed, indeed. that most certainly is an emission from a person of subcontinental origin.
civilian: goodness gracious! well, i daresay...
fartographer: moreover, said person seems to have a particularly hearty meal of boeuf bourguignonne. the sulfuric notes suggest a person with a severe allergy to gluten, as well as a miniaturized anal aperture which undoubtedly contributes to the floral top note. i would suggest that the person in question is...
civilian: damn you, stinkefeller!
fartographer: you. you farted. and that's how fartography works, son.
fartographer: indeed, indeed. that most certainly is an emission from a person of subcontinental origin.
civilian: goodness gracious! well, i daresay...
fartographer: moreover, said person seems to have a particularly hearty meal of boeuf bourguignonne. the sulfuric notes suggest a person with a severe allergy to gluten, as well as a miniaturized anal aperture which undoubtedly contributes to the floral top note. i would suggest that the person in question is...
civilian: damn you, stinkefeller!
fartographer: you. you farted. and that's how fartography works, son.
fartography by trilliam turdsworth December 23, 2018
farticule
a tiny particle of turdburger so small it is invisible to the naked eye and so light that it floats on air.. yet potent enough to smell like the open ass from which it emerged. typically brown when viewed under the microscope, its shape resembles the head of hades.
after roger moore farted, the room filled up mercilessly with farticules.
after sean connery quicksilvered in his pants, there was an unmistakable aroma of farticules in the 21 club bathroom.
after sean connery quicksilvered in his pants, there was an unmistakable aroma of farticules in the 21 club bathroom.
farticule by trilliam turdsworth December 23, 2018