My dick is so hard I could lay a brick

Having a fully erect penis, that is so hard and ready for sexy time, that it is totally capable of pounding even solid brick to smithereens.

Holy Shit! My dick is so hard I could lay a brick! That's right, I could literally pound the virginity out of a solid brick! So, anyway, what's your mom doing tonight?

by tonyfamous November 02, 2011

Working the clay

Working the clay: To engage in sexual foreplay, like in that scene with the Pottery Wheel that was in that movie Ghost. A shirtless Patrick Swayze came all up behind Demi Moore and started massaging a big phallic looking clump of clay, then sticking his fingers in her clay and then she got all hot and sexy and totally fucked up the vase she was working on and then they had really intensely passionate R-rated movie sex with fake multiple orgasms. Because of this movie scene enrollment in Pottery Making Classes went through the roof! :-D

Demi Moore is so old and decrepit now that Ashton Kutcher must have to spend at least an hour " working the clay " before even attempting to stick his dick in her sandbox and I'm sure as hell that he still would get a dry burn on his dick so bad that it would require multiple skin grafts!

Ashton: Hey Demi. Could you slap on a little more Geriatric K-Y please! I think there are sparks shooting off my dick!

Demi: Did you hear that cracking noise! I think you just broke my hip!!!

by tonyfamous June 23, 2011

breast onplants

fake titties that you wear on or over your real titties so that your little titties look bigger.

Man your titties look bigger! I know you can't afford no breast implants, so those must be breast onplants!

by tonyfamous October 04, 2010

standing o

An orgasm that a woman has whenever she's getting fucked while standing up.

I didn't want to fuck your mom on my bed because I just put clean sheets on it, so I threw her up against the wall an fucked her so hard I gave her a Standing O.

by tonyfamous December 18, 2010

pinching a biscuit

Pinching a biscuit is what happens when you go to the bathroom to take a huge dump, or " pinch a loaf ", but wind up being really costipated and only dropping a small turd.

I'm so fucking constipated. I spent 40 minutes pinching a loaf and wound up only pinching a biscuit.

by tonyfamous October 04, 2010

lady balls

Lady Balls are ovaries ya morons, cause ladies don't have testicles. That's why it don't hurt a lady when you kick her square between her legs like it would any uncastrated dude. But try kicking a lady in the ovaries and she'll be spitting out retard babies for the rest of her reproductive life.

I swear to God if that bitch packing my groceries threw that 5 pound bag of oranges on top of my organic eggs I'm going to jump the counter and judo chop her square in the Lady Balls! >_<

by tonyfamous March 11, 2011

spanking the kitty

Lady masturbation.

Ewe! Your fingers stink! It smells like you were just spanking the kitty!

by tonyfamous October 04, 2010