thebetterfriend2's definitions

Friend Custody

When a couple breaks up, one person gets to keep the mutual friends while the other must find new ones because being around each other would be too awkward. The person who keeps the friends is said to be granted Friend Custody.

Bob: Why don't you come out with us tonight?

Phil: Because when Jane and I broke up, she got Friend Custody.

by thebetterfriend2 March 20, 2010

Restaurant Recon

Pulling into a restaurant parking lot, and sending a passenger into the restaurant to find out the wait time for a table while the driver sits in the car.

Driver: Do some restaurant recon to see if they can seat us tonight.
*TWO MINUTES LATER*
Recon Agent: An hour wait, let's get out of here.

by thebetterfriend2 September 11, 2010

Designated Imbiber

An individual who is assigned the task of drinking for other people because they are driving, pregnant, or have to get up early the next morning.

Guy 1: Wanna play some beer pong?
Guy 2: I wish, but I have to be at work at 8AM tomorrow.
Guy 1: It's fine, I'll be the designated imbiber.

by thebetterfriend2 June 19, 2013

Pube Crawl

To seamlessly go from one sex partner to another in a series.

"Adam was with one girl after another yesterday. He was on an all-day pube crawl."

by thebetterfriend2 March 13, 2013

Wordgurgitation

Regurgitation of every single memorized fact or talking point even remotely related to the topic at hand.

Just submitted my term paper. It was pretty much a frantic wordgurgitation of a semester's worth of information.

by thebetterfriend2 May 17, 2018

Osteoneurosis

Fear that the activity you're about to engage in will result in broken bones.

Bungee jumping sounded like a great idea at the time, but now that I'm here, I have a pretty severe case of osteoneurosis.

by thebetterfriend2 May 30, 2018

The Domino's Effect

A phenomenon in which an individual consumes a large portion of fast food, and subsequently has to shit only 10 minutes later. The Domino's Effect defy's all that is known about the digestive system. This commonly occurs after eating food from a Domino's pizzeria, but may also occur with other places such as Taco Bell.

Man 1: Oh my god. I literally finished eating my cheesy bread 5 minutes ago, but already need to take a dump.

Man 2: Yet another tragic, yet mystifying case of The Domino's Effect.

by thebetterfriend2 November 20, 2009