Definitions by the comand'r

front butthole 

Another name for your belly button because it looks like a butthole on your stomach.

I went camping last week for 6 days and got so dirty that I spent about 15 minutes cleaning out my front butthole. Would have taken me less time, but I am an inny, not an outy.

front butthole by the comand'r September 5, 2017

Heat seat 

The uncomfortable situation when using a toilet and the seat is warm from the previous user.

Brendan: I was at work early this am and hardly anyone was in the office, though when I went to take a dump, I found the seat was warm.

Frank: Man, what are the odds. There are four stalls and you chose the one with the heat seat.

Brendan: ya, not great way to start my day. I was simply finishing my coffee.

Heat seat by the comand'r October 15, 2016

squirt dirt 

Diarrhea, same as blast mud, though typically a bit more dry.

Jimmy: Gru, that Thai food is hitting me - I gotta use your crapper.

Gru: Man, iff you gotta squirt dirt, use the downstair bathroom - more tp than in the upstairs shitter.

squirt dirt by the comand'r October 10, 2016

shart fart 

The noise made right before someone sharts themselves, typically followed by an awkward grimace and a "whoops!"

Did you see Timmy playing soccer today? The coach called him out after he started walking like a penguin? The referee was startled by the shart fart Timmy released at the goal crease.

shart fart by the comand'r October 10, 2016

walking like a penguin

The walk, or waddle, one does as a huge shit is approaching which has come on without a solid release plan causing them to clinch they butt cheeks and seek the closest toilet for evacuation.

Luke sure had a rough day at school today. Poor kid was locked out of the bathroom in the gym, so everyone was cracking up as he was walking like a penguin back to class to use the crapper there. I think I heard a shart fart as he crossed the playground.

walking like a penguin by the comand'r October 10, 2016

carolleft

The act of making a left on a red left turn arrow as per the recommendation, nay mandate, from Adam Carolla, e.g. Car roll left.

I was in a rush to get to work the other day and listening to my favorite podcast, Guinness Book's #1 podcast that is, and was stopped at a left turn arrow unnecessarily, so I pulled a carolleft and was on my way - no chicken-shit ticket to be had.

carolleft by the comand'r May 29, 2016